I just like listening to music a bit more than normally required.

2010-08-01T17:19:00.002+08:00

Spontaneous-ness

Okay I just had this urge to blog.
Rather, to put it more accurately, I just wanted to deposit my thoughts somewhere. Anyway but inside my head where it's fluttering around and distracting me from my notes.
Yes.
Notes.
Flashcards rather.
Can you believe it? I'm actually studying for my COC this coming Thursday. And despite all the threats that if I cannot pass this test, I cannot pass out from SSC.
Ha.
And despite that, the 23rd batch still passed out despite more than half the cohort flunking majestically.

Anyhow, this will be the last week of me being a trainee.
FINALLY.
I can already dream of seeing my fringe again.
(=

Been feeling sick lately.
Three weeks to be exact.
My coughing is pissing me off.
It's probably pissing my bunkmates even more. Especially during OJT when sleep is critical. And those turn outs.
Oh god.. Those turn outs.
It did felt good to be pushed to your limit though.
And the satisfaction of overcoming and coming out alive after all that physical and mental torment in one piece.
God it felt good.
(=

I really want to catch a movie.
And I know it is odd, but I think I really like it that no one reads this blog anymore.
And don't worry honey.
I'm no longer blogging about dark clouds and stormy footsteps.
I'm way past that.
O
Back to notes!
*grumbles grumbles*

2010-02-02T10:53:00.002+08:00

Of broken hearts and torn up letters.

With enlistment looming in the imminent future(what an oxymoron), I find myself sleeping earlier(or later) but waking up much earlier than before. A sure sign of that is I actually have mornings now. A quick calculation indicates that I have 3 mornings left. How endearing. However, that is not on my agenda today. Something else is.

Mornings, just like nights, had always been the grounds for me to think. Since Secondary School, on those long and boring rides to Maris Stella, I found myself thinking quite a bit. For the record, thinking to me encompasses real deep thought(like what I want to eat for lunch, love and how to not screw up History lesson), imagination(like having superpowers), planning ahead and so on and so forth. Having gotten my mornings back, I found myself, once again, thinking again. The only difference is, instead of thinking, I actually decided to pen my thoughts down. No prizes for what's hovering in my mind nowadays.

Having not held a pen for the past months, the tool felt extremely foreign in my hands. It was gripped at an awkward angle. And it strangely felt much lighter than before. Could it be that I am now shed of the academic baggage and expectations that I was once carrying? Or maybe(rather corny) memories of her are no longer in my hands?

I sometimes wonder how many romantic failures the average man must experience before he finally breaks and throws in the towel. It's like a balloon with air(failure) being pumped into it. How many pumps before the balloon pops? Well, I called it quits at round 3. And as many before me had said, this one is the most heart-wrenching.

To be brutally frank, to be simply taken as "my best guy friend" is really quite damning. Optimistically speaking, I can take heart in the fact that the woman I love treasures the thing between us. That is, whatever this thing she is referring is not what I had in mind and heart. I guess it's even worse when I'm not exactly the person who should be described as sanguine. You see, this is what I had planned initially. We would go for walks. She can bring her dog(preferably her cat) and I will bring my iPod(if it were still working). I like morning walks and she is the morning person. It would work splendidly. We both love to read despite differing tastes. I love the hardcore thriller versions or articles relating to Science and Mathematics while she prefers the Literature kinds. But still, it grants us opportunities to just sit on the couch and drink coffee and just...I don't know, stay together. I've never told her or anyone this(except maybe now to you reader), but sometimes, I just like being around with her. I like the night more but hate the Moon for it stands for loneliness. She likes the Moon but whatever; I will like what she likes. She probably hates me for that cause she likes tough men and not whimpy ones like me who try to make the woman he loves happy. I guess nobody's ever right in such things. I know I am wrong for the simple fact I failed. Okay, that sad mopping aside.

Continuing from where I left off, to tell you the truth, the form of rejection I received is analogous to receiving a second prize-first place loser.

I reckon she is probably new to this relationship business. I also foresee she will have many more encounters in the future(maybe rejecting more guys or, sad to say, even accepting the ONE). But still, not a shabby start I'd say for a rejection solidly boosts one's self-confidence. Albeit it crushes the other(mine). So there is actually a real deal of equivalent exchange in this world. Eat that economists. But the hopeless romantic within me is still glad. Why you say? Because at least she's happy right now. And because she's never ever going to read this. Thankfully.

Sometimes at night I wonder and even hope that this story of mine will have a happy ending. Kind of like what happened to a particular friend who suddenly developed feelings for the guy who carried the torch for her for 4 years or so. Personally I wouldn't mind carrying the torch for 4 years. The coming 2 years are already in the bag anyhow. And I highly doubt if I can find love in University when I have failed in Secondary School and Junior College. If you are wondering why this sounds rather defeatist, perhaps you are right. An acquaintance once mentioned that if you believe in something hard enough and have faith, it will come true. Does it really? I really want to believe and have faith(damn I am overflowing with faith even), but then at what costs? At what costs to her or even...selfishly speaking..to me?

I don't know what to do now except lie. Lie and put on a happy face as best as I could in front of her and pretend everything is okay when it's not. It never was okay. Lie and say "Oh, I'm tired and just didn't feel like talking" when I was actually dying to speak to you but words just escape me. And I'm sure it escaped you too that day. Escape. Yeah, I need some of that right now.

2010-01-22T02:27:00.001+08:00

Because somethings aren't worth saying at all. Not to you at least.

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big

Makes me wonder when I will snap out of it. Maybe Sharon's right. I will finally return back to normality if she gets attached. I wonder if I will go after the guy with a cleaver though. Haha. I doubt so. That will make her sad wouldn't it?

2010-01-16T00:34:00.002+08:00

The Fray

"Look After You"

If I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate

Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
I'll look after you

There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
I'll look after you

If ever there was a doubt
My love she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh

This song just feels home somewhat. I cannot pin-point the reason why. But it just feels so apt. It's like...one of those days when you feel everything is going your way you know? Except, haha, things on this road don't go my way. Most often off the cliff.

I'm beginning to dislike this roller coaster ride. Ups and downs. Sometimes I feel like I can put it all behind me. Sometimes I just don't even have the strength. If there's a God out there, I think you made a mistaken of constructing this hollowness within me that could only be filled by...

2010-01-10T21:37:00.002+08:00

A new beginning. What a damn lie.

I'm not going to make any New Year resolutions this year. The fact of the matter is, I honestly think that NYR are pretty stupid. It is made to be broken; so why waste the effort at all? Anyway, that stupid thing aside.

Before I continue, I must first state that this blog will not be updated regularly as far as I know. And when I do create an entry, do not expect it to be rosy or cheery or dotted with smiles and laughter. This is not what the next few entries are going to be about. And neither is that going to be the central theme of this entry either. So, if you suffer from depression, psychosis or other deep, dark mental disorders-medically certified or self-certified emos- I suggest you leave cause I've a feeling your condition will worsen when you get to the end of the post.

You've been warned.

I've told a friend before of how much my love life seems to be a joke. It seems to be even more of a joke when rejections come at significant moments in life, be it academically or otherwise, like birthdays and more recently, post Christmas. Typically, I do not resign to a higher being. I do not like my life to be controlled by somebody else and I find it hard to subscribe to Cosmic being who controls my life like a pawn on the chess-set. (If there is, I really would want to go bash him or her up). But after the latest episode, I've pretty much resigned, at least and hopefully at most, my love life to Providence. Yes, I'm no longer going to question Providence as to why my love life is so much shit.

I do not intend to recount the entire falling in love-courtship-failed courtship-rejection period in this entry. It's probably too long and much too noisy because I will be barraged by a multitude of thoughts, reprimands and other voices inside my head. I will go mad. Instead, what I would like to do is to just let it all out about the post-rejection period. Yes, I think this is what this blog is going to be about from now onwards. It's going to be an outlet.

Do not get mistaken. While I do not like to drone and moan and mop around so much about the past, this particular incident has really gotten to me. I know you probably heard this before somewhere "But she feels different". Hell I'm gonna say it anyhow.

She feels different.

Unlike the previous, I honestly felt that I stood a sliver of a chance in actually sealing the deal here. But well, if shit doesn't happen to my love life, it wouldn't be my love life.

Moving on. Aforementioned, I've been trying and trying and trying to move on. Believe me when I said I tried. And I sincerely thought I was covering ground. At least, I thought I did until she began to start smsing me and asking me about how I was feeling. Perhaps this 'rejection business' is fresh to her. Theoretically, the girl isn't supposed to give a rat's ass about the guy's feelings, social well-being or mental state until the guy initiates conversation with her once again. The question is, when will the guy do that. Some guys do. The majority do not. And that is what I believe, which was further confirmed in the sms, that she was indeed worried that I will forever never ever speak to her ever again. I will be lying if that thought didn't cross my mind.

But as history would had shown, I do not often preach what I say. For instance, I'm speaking to Sam now. And quite regularly in fact. So yes, I will speak to Leanne. But, it's just a question of time.

I admit that the sms did come as a surprise. Pleasant surprise? That, on hindsight, I'm not sure. Because what was killing her then, is now killing me. I shall summarise. In short, the girl is worried that

I'm not going to talk to her and hence she loses me as a friend and I too lose her as a friend
She feels bad that she misled me throughout the past few moons and not pulling the trigger earlier, thereby causing me much distress and emo-ness in the few months

She feels bad that I was so nice despite being rejected and felt she had to do something about it

I'm going to strike out point 1 because obviously, that worry is not unfounded. I'm speaking to her and vice versa. I'm going to strike out point 2 because a couple of nights ago, in the midst of a discussion, I learned that she is over about it. Then comes point 3 which took some persuasion, jokes and some lying from me.

The person who said lying kills wasn't joking. Lying does kill, one way or another.

That night, I had to lie that I was in fact more or less over her. Well in some sense it does harbour a shade of truth but it's ambiguous still. I had to lie I was okay and give that stupid smilely face when I was not. All in my mind, my objective was to get her to stop brooding and feeling bad. You might think that I'm indirectly portraying myself as a Saint or some really nice guy. But to tell you the truth, I'm not a nice person as the majority put me out to be. For starters, I lied. And it's killing me. It's killing me because the care she showed after the rejection just made me remember why I became weak and succumbed to this fatal attraction.

Sharon has been telling me to not think about it. But how can I not? I just saw her today and might even see her again like twice next week. It kind of feels like death is imminent. But you just got to smile and pretend everything is okay because...she knows. And if she knows, she will go through all that thing again and I don't want it. The idea of shutting down communication from her did cross my mind. But while I eliminated that thought yesterday, I am considering it today. I might even implement it tomorrow. Silly isn't it?

Why does it break and hurt so?

2009-10-12T22:37:00.002+08:00

I just back home from tuition; it was moderately encouraging because I managed to survive the first of the many 'unseen essays' tests to come. I used the inverted commas because I am technically armed for the tests but he is going to manipulate it so badly that I have to distort my mind so badly in order to squeeze out something logical as my argument. The downside of today is that I totally screwed up my essay ):
Everyone's revving their mugging engines. This is scaring the shit out of me.

MUG HARD.

2009-10-11T14:24:00.003+08:00

Comic Relief

I doubt if anyone ever visits this blog anymore. Even I don't even bother to come here. But I just want to post this cause it's so funny in so many ways. I got it from this website http://xkcd.com and some of the stuff there really brings a smile to my face. Like the one above.

MUG HARD PEOPLE.

2009-04-19T14:08:00.002+08:00

A post in a very long time.

I am not a faithful blogger to begin with. Thus, just for the sake of it of saying it, I will not be blogging on such a 'regular' basis from now onwards. The reasons are plentiful but it mostly revolves around the same idea of "mugging". For the first time in JC life, I actually intend to forge ahead in lectures-at least for Economics. I hope it can make me understand better? But more importantly, it shaves off the guilt whenever I doze off or go into a trance or decide to be possessed by Picasso's spirit.

As the stupid NAPFA test is coming up, I have been running fairly frequently these past 3 weeks. As it turns out, I run on alternate days- the days which are not occupied by training. And just to spice things up, I only run at 4.30pm for reasons that only one person knows at the moment. Hur hur. My legs feel tired. Maybe it's because I am weak. I am not arguing.

Swimming today was torture. The coach decide to take it easy, on himself, and he made us do something very creative.
Swim 30 laps.
I suppose it is a good thing that we get to swim whatever stroke we want. But by the 20th lap, my legs were like jelly and I was literally getting myself carried away by the waves generated by those kids peddling like mad on their floats. I swear kids below the age of 12 run on crack. I used to be one of them.

I think I am ending my post here. It is rather abrupt I know, but my brain just ran out of ideas to talk about. Planes is calling me.

what do you do if you miss someone?

2009-04-04T00:12:00.003+08:00

i just had to post this because writing one factor for a 17marks essay was driving me crazy.

To those that are still ignorant, I am on a veggie diet. And I am NOT doing this because I want to lose weight albeit I think I should. But. That is another story for another time.
I chanced upon this on Facebook. Seriously, where does Victoria get all these quizzes from? So, here goes.

What your name says about you.
A: You like to drink.
B : You like people.
C : You are really silly.
D : You like to drink.
E : You are a damn good kisser.
F : You are dead sexy.
G : You never let people tell you what to do.
H : You have a very good personality and looks.
I : You are great in bed.
J : People adore you.
K : You're wild and crazy.
L: Everyone loves you.
M : You are great in bed.
N : You like to drink.
O : You are an awesome kisser.
P : You are popular with all types of people.
Q : You are a hypocrite.
R : You are fucking crazy.
S : You are easy to fall in love with.
T : You're loyal to those you love.
U : You really like to chill.
V : You are not judgmental.
W : You are very broad minded.
X : You never let people tell you what to do.
Y : Best g/f b/f anyone could ever ask for.
Z : Always ready

My name is Zhiyang by the way.

Z : Always ready (Haha. If you mean lanning then HELL YA)
H : You have a very good personality and looks. (Right...I can really hear Simon Cowell guffawing now)
I : You are great in bed. (.......)

Y : Best g/f b/f anyone could ever ask for. (Aww...But then, it's 'ask'. -.-)
A: You like to drink.
N : You like to drink. (I get it already. Just don't let me drive on Fridays okay?)
G : You never let people tell you what to do. (I am doing homework. So does this still count?)

2009-03-22T10:08:00.003+08:00

Sleep-oiliday.

Dread.
Because today's the last day of the holiday and I would be spending some time doing some tutorials.
Dread.
Because tomorrow we would be getting back our papers and I sorely don't miss my Math paper at all. For the very first time in my life.
Dread.
Because today's the last day when I can wake up late and not in the wee hours of the morning. I will be back to being a zombie all over again.

On a lighter note, I shall be posting a picture in this post. This is how I would be like for the next few weeks until the next holiday comes along.

Unlike many who had their holidays packed to the brim, you have my heartfelt sympathies, I spent my holidays recuperating lost sleep. And I mean it seriously. I could wake up at 11am and still go back to sleep at around 3pm until dinner time. But of course, I don't normally hit the sack until the ungodly hours of 2 something. That, is thanks to movies. Movies that I should had watched lasy year or the year before but I didn't due to school or other nonsensical personal reasons.

So, here's the list that I watched. And since it's nobody's business, I ranked them in chronological order as to which I think was best and which I felt wasted my precious time. Time that could either be spent reading or sleeping. Gee, it seems as though I have my retirement plans all mapped out.

1) The Dark Knight
I watched this with the class people last year. With who exactly I honestly cannot remember. But I decided to watch it again since I was such a Batman fan. It was nice. I like the Joker's magic trick a lot.

1) Silence of the Lambs
For those who have read so far, this movie will probably register nothing in your heads. I mean, well, it was screened the year we were born! Heh. Hannibel Lector and Buffalo Bill. It's a show about a psychopathic failed transsexual who went around killing size 14 women and skinning them, literally, to make a human suit for himself to wear. Then there was Hannibel Lector, the cannibal. I liked Anthony Hopkin's acting. Now I can understand why critics keep revving about him and why no one seems to rival his stellar performance in the show.

3) Love Actually
I lost count of the number of times I have watched this movie. It's always shown on Channel 5 during X'mas and other lovey-dovey occasions. Or sometimes whenever the family felt like it or for some other weird reasons. I still like the beginning. Maybe it's only under those circumstances mentioned that I would really be myself. Just as the quiz said.

4) V for Vendetta
Ha. Ha. Ha. I initially got this movie because I feared that the Taekwondo BBQ on the second day will rob me of the opportunity. Alas! It didn't because I injured my neck-I could not turn right my dear- and so, I gave the second day a miss. It was a good show. Really. And I think the scriptwriters must had had hell writing that string of words starting with V. God. Maybe I would try that the next time I feel like screwing up my GP essay. Or maybe economics essay. Heh.

5) Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End
This really wasted my time. I mean, really. It could actually make me walk 200m to NTUC to buy groceries before continuing watching. I actually stopped the show 4 times intermittently to do some other stuff to not bore myself. I must say though, it was marginally better than Indiana Jones. At least I didn't sleep in this one. But who knows, if I were actually in the theatre, I might be snoring. Loud. I swear even the Mummy was better.

But of course, these weren't the only shows I watched. There were others but they aren't worth mentioning. It's not that they were bad but I don't think there's anything worth mentioning about them. There's Stealth, Resident Evil, Blade Trinity, The Mummy, Ironman, Final Destination and Blood Diamond. Oh, I really liked the last one though.

Anyway, on a completely random note, I would like to go on a nature hike one of these days. I want to check out the new whatever-it's-name-is bridge. But haha, it would be completely boring to just go alone. Oh well.

how do you tell someone you miss them.
you don't.
we just all love to suffer in silent misery.

2009-03-14T20:53:00.003+08:00

i kill zombies to destress.

First entry after the dastard Common Tests. I shall not comment on it and just let bygones be bygones. On to other stuff.

Yesterday was VJC's VOG. Games' Day was all right. I spent the whole time walking around with Jill and like Andrea said, I appeared to be her bodyguard. A very bored bodyguard. We ended up watching tennis for almost the whole day. It was enjoyable. I caught some basketball action too and finally understood why Joanne seems so fascinated by it. Haha. On a more sombre note, I sorely wanted to play badminton yesterday during the Sports Day but alas! I didn't have a racket and I would probably get owned by the second round. But hey! It's the fun that matters.
The day was utterly boring. That is until I went to Katong to LAN with Alvin. Someone chose to pang us. Bugger. So it boiled down to both of us fighting hordes, Tanks, Witches, Hunters, Boomers and Smokers in Advanced. I absolutely lost count of the number of times I died. But I left the LAN shop with one huge conclusion.

TANKS LOVE ZHIYANG. For some odd reason, they always like to come up close and personal with me. Like for god's sake go find Alvin. Stop humping me. Sigh.

I am ending this entry with a quiz I saw on Facebook. Comments are in italics.

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

I am hiding myself?! Gee. Okay, perhaps I am still fairly reticent on occasions. But I let loose like really amongst the Marists. Maybe amongst Victorians I am less so. Heh.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

True true true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

Right...

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

I guess this is a wake up call. I am not sleeping during the next careers' talk anymore.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

I guess this IS true to a limited extent. And I think it's connected to the analysis they made about relationships. So perhaps that's why I am still single. But single isn't that bad. Oh whatever.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

I thought this is a fairly common thing that bugs our generation. If not, why are there so many people going for plastic? I mean, minus the cases that go there for really life-threatening medical reasons.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Yes Yes. A million yeses

2009-03-04T16:46:00.002+08:00

crackers.

On a somber note, I think that this would be my last post until the end of next week. That is of course unless I feel compelled by some unprecedented event to blog. But I honestly doubt that there would be any other than me getting raped by the CT.

I think everyone's kicking into mugging gear already. One way or another, we are hitting the books. It's bleeding boring I tell you. And what's even better for me is that I need to read walls and walls of text on DNA and its buddies for this whole week. Oh, did I mention that there was the dreaded economics as well? Ya, disaster loves company. I dare not say I have finished chemistry and math revision though; there are a still a couple of loose ends that demands my attention so I am gonna settle it by doing some papers sometime on Sunday. Provided I have the mood.

This week has been monotonous. Lectures were even more boring because many people decided to skip them. So technically, I had less people to look at. I know this sounds sick but that's one of my past times: just studying people. Maybe that's why the PGI test suggested me becoming a political analyst.
You kinda realize that you are very bored during lectures when you start to drone about the past with your friends. Like how I was talking about Power Rangers to Kenny the other time during Chem lecture. Well I suppose it could had been worse. I could had talked about the Teletubbies but then again, I was more of the Sesame Street fan. Teletubbies communicate using ! and their hands-they lack fingers- I can't do that. I mean I could, but I would probably be clobbered to death.
I still think the purple one's weird. The red one is probably on crack.

I decided to skip the early part of school today, choosing to come only for (GASP) the chemistry tutorial. I know, I know. Call me dumb but I really benefited from Chia's talk about Kinetics. That piece of summary is definitely gonna come in handy. Come to think of it, I think I am only going to study that for Kinetics. Heh.
I came to school for only 1 hour and then headed home. Bloody hell.

The chat box is woefully silent these days. Perhaps people do visit..they just conveniently forget to tag. :|
I will be visiting my grandpa next week. Sorry grandpa. This unfilial act is going to come back and bite me in the arse one fine day.

BIO
ECONS!
I need my biscuits and nutella.

2009-02-22T12:37:00.002+08:00

Pull damn it Pull.

So I am blogging this an hour or so before I head down to Yishun to tutor some really rowdy kids.

There was swimming lesson this morning. It was bad. Well I guess that that was to be expected since I conveniently missed two lessons for the past few weeks due to my flu and pure laziness. But still, a tormenting swimming lesson was miles better than having to sit at my desk and swallow word after word on DNA. Honestly speaking, I never really hated biology. It's just that because I belong to the group that mugged terribly, and ridiculously, slowly, trying to memorise biology facts took eons. And that really pisses me off.

Enough about the dreary CT and the hell it is putting me and others through.

Grandpa is still in the hospital. I really should visit him but I can't seem to find the time to do so. Well maybe it's just a lousy excuse to cover up my utter lack of filial piety. I don't know. I just feel guilty as hell.

This past week was normal. I didn't do the biology tutorial as usual but managed to survive since Teo didn't ask me any questions. Lectures were utterly boring especially the math one on statistics. I was fighting not to sleep but I guess I should had since I ended up getting distracted and looking around the lecture theatre like a curious child. A really curious and bored child. What a paradox. Haha.

I really want to go out and not stay glued to the chair at home. I want to play L4D again. Shoot some boomers, kill some hunters and let the witch chase after me. Just for fun. I want to play pool and let De Wei win. Or Wei Chao. Whichever makes them happier. Haha. I want to swim more.
Just being random, but I have decided that when I grow up and have the sufficient dough, I will build a pool in front of my house. Of course that would have to be private residence but it's okay. I will work hard.

The Ecareers survey turned up queer results. They said that I have a rather strong 'aversion' towards marriage and committment. And I thought others had problems with committing. I scored rather low on that particular point. Oh well, not like it matters to me now. I am satisfied being single.

I should shower soon. Yishun is so damn far away.

2009-02-17T21:30:00.001+08:00

Ah Gong's hospitalized.

Everyone's worried. It seems serious this time.

I hope he will be okay. :\

2009-02-14T16:07:00.003+08:00

Friday the 13rd
and
Valentine's.

I think yesterday was a nice day.
Friday the 13th.
I suppose the only 'bad' thing that befall on me is that I woke up with an itchy throat. So what was I suppose to do? I drank like a camel. Believe it or not, I bought a 1.5l bottle of water and lumped it from Parkway to City Hall. I managed to somehow finish it up without vomiting everything out. Phew.

lessons so far have been all right. Annoyingly though, time always seems to be against me. I need more time to prepare for CT! Dang. Never mind, on to less depressing stuff.

Did I say that I really rather enjoyed myself yesterday?
Lessons were moderately slack since the lecturers and teachers knew that our hearts were elsewhere. We exchanged gifts, although I was not normally one who buy gifts for others. To be honest, I only did my shopping after school with Alvin who had to buy some other stuff. I conclude that I totally suck at buying gifts. It took me like 15minutes and longer to decide whether or not to buy the key covers for Wan Swen and Julynn. I got chocolates for Jianghan. Guys damn easy to buy gifts for la.

Then while walking around Marks and Spencer, where I got the chocolates for Jianghan and Sam, I was suddenly worried that the they wouldn't like the key covers. Okay..InqBox did give me an invoice but I doubt that would suffice as a receipt. Urgh. I don't know. I can't really see if they like it or not unless I see their keys which is..well. Haha.

And to the person who got the Mr Devil, you really aren't such a bad person. Yup. Haha.

I then swung by Novena which was so bleeding far to collect some stuff and buy my lunch from Cold Storage and Breadtalk. Yes. I bought 2 more bottles of 500ml Ice Mountain from Cold Storage. I went to Tanjong Pagar and mugged at the Subway there. Don't ask why.

I think I should had stayed longer at Subway cause Joel was late. =.= Trained at Kembangan for an hour plus plus before heading down to ECP for the BBQ.

OG BBQ was awesome. I shall talk about it another time. Haha. I need to hit the sack..superbly tired now.

2009-02-07T15:26:00.002+08:00

I enjoyed the time with Ilzotic.

Both with the freshmen and the OGLs.
To the freshmen, thank you for finally opening up after around 2 days-ish. Look at what we had done! We came in 4th overall from the 7th place! YAY.

To Ilzotic OGLs, I apologise here if at anytime, I was a prick or irresponsible.
To Wan Swen: I guess you were right about stepping out of my comfort zone and stuff like that. Thanks plenty.

To Jianghan: Had fun cheering with alongside all of the other guys like Wilson, Teng etc etc

To Julynn: Hahaha. I really don't know what to say. All the random stuff said by you and the grandma stories. Parfait.

Orientation 2009.

2009-01-30T21:58:00.003+08:00

tgif.

You have no idea how glad I am that it's Friday already.
Yes, although Chinese New Year has, quite mercifully, eaten up two days of the week.
Yes, although there might be this superbly slack week next week due to Orientation.
Yes, although there will be swimming this Sunday.

I am dead ass happy that it's Friday cause I can finally take it easy and do things at my own pace.

I am keeping to my New Year resolution quite successfully so far. I am clocking at least 7 hours of sleep. :D Okay, although it might not be an even spread, but at least those afternoon naps and late nights even out to an average 7 hours. I had a 3 hour-ish nap this afternoon but all it did was make me slightly more tired. I won't be sleeping late early however. I reckon at least 3am.

I know Mediacorp's shows are absolutely cliche. They always, almost, end up with happy endings and have this moral story that is so used and reused that it's more predictable than the current world employment rates. The bad guy always dies. The good guy always gets the girl or the happy ending, whichever he desires. Sometimes both. Lucky bastard. But I think no matter how cliche it is, it still makes some sense.
Look, I am not such a big fan of local soap operas. In fact, I almost never watch them at all unless I am terribly bored or am sick of writing down words and numbers. Rarely the case for numbers. But tonight I did because I was still rather tired. And then one thing the character said hit home.

She said that love for a child, be it from a grandparent or a parent, is eternal.
Yes, the statement itself is bleeding mushy and ultimate cliche. But it makes sense. More importantly, it made me feel guilty as hell. The only times I ever see my grandparents are when:
1) Chinese New Year
2) Grandparents' birthday celebrations. (Only twice annually. I can, strangely, only turn up for my ah gong's birthday and never for my ah ma's.)
3) Marriages (rarely the case since most of my cousins are stranded at the 'relationship' phase)

So, the probability that I would see them is low. Extremely low.
And then, there I was thinking that I would give my grandpa's birthday celebration this Sunday a miss because of, you guessed it, tutorials and lecture notes. Cause you see, I have this obsessive compulsive disorder of sorts to complete tutorials at home and not in class. I mean, no offence, I just can't work under all that nagging by the lecturer and stuff like that. Especially like ACL during Math lecture.

I still think she sounds like a bird.

So I think I will not give my grandpa's birthday a miss. Despite the fact that it's orientation next week and I will be missing plenty important stuff.
I will just have to clock longer hours to finish up some stuff. That's all.

this odd dream that seems surreal.
i hope it becomes true.

2009-01-25T22:40:00.000+08:00

untitled.

Isn't it puzzling that we can so easily dispense advice on our friends' relationship problems when we often left helpless at ours?
Perhaps that's why we use only a fraction of our brain's capacity. The proportion left unused could just be the key to solving our puzzling problems afflicting the heart.

Anyway. Happy Lunar New Year.
I have no doubt International Trade will drive me loony tomorrow.

2009-01-20T18:36:00.000+08:00

i can't say i am not fairly disappointed at how the econs marks turned out.
in fact, i think i was bloody pissed.
then disappointed.
sigh.
more work i guess.
piece of shit.

2009-01-13T20:18:00.002+08:00

pain.

School has started.
And it has been running so far on a rather queer note.

School on Monday was relaxed. Or maybe because everyone was simply dreading the reality of it. I was. There was a piece of, rather shocking, news, I just hope the party involved will be much better now. (:
PE was boring.

School today was slightly faster. Teachers are shifting into gear and yes, we are moving faster. Damn. I still got a couple of tutorials to finish before I can officially commence on 2009ish stuff. I hope I can get it completed by tomorrow afternoon.

On a lighter note, I managed to get a new bag. I guess I just grew really tired of squishing my files and PE attire into the small Crumpler. I could blame Mum for being myopic for choosing this smaller version; but the big one is really a bomb. So, I just have to give and take a few. The new bag I bought is from Muji. It surprisingly means 'No Label'. At least, that's what the Chinese words or is it Japanese words say it to be. It's simple. Clean cut. Black.
Taekwondo training today and I swear my toes never felt so sore before. I am trying my best to achieve that thing they call 'ball of foot', and it's murdering me. I will end up spraining my ankle or something. Oh well. No pain no gain.

Break ends in 30mins.
Now I am troubled over the t3a business.

2009-01-11T21:03:00.000+08:00

waiting time. and promises.
we all wait.

what were you waiting for then.

2009-01-09T13:42:00.001+08:00

Friday. Unofficial First Day of School.

So I went for the Economics R paper today.
By some odd reason or other, I just couldn't shake off the feeling that I was a lamb walking right into the tiger's enclosure.
Thankfully, the paper is a lot easier as compared to the one thrown to us during Promos. I encountered a similar question here and there and that was it.

My hand feels like breaking off from the joint. Whatever it is called.

I finally got my haircut today. It was a comfortable process; all that stupid keratin finally gone. But somehow or rather, I can't help but feel odd..about this new look. I mean, this hairdo is really different from the others. Maybe it just doesn't suit me. Oh well. I have resigned myself to fate that the only hairdo that will fit my is the NS cut.
Botak.
Talk about the amount of money saved on wax, shampoo and conditioners. I think I will still buy shampoo though. Just for the sake of cleanliness.

There is the 08S33 BBQ later on. I admit, it is quite a rush so I am sorry all right. Meeting sharon later at 4 to buy the food and stuff. I hope she wouldn't laugh at my hair. Grrrrrr.

I think I can get at 70 for Econs.

turn back the pendulum.

2009-01-03T16:03:00.003+08:00

first Saturday 09.

I am going to refrain from describing how I had spent the last moments of 2008 because I have concluded that it is utterly impossible to make it any interesting. Not that it was even remotely near interesting.

I think everyone knows that this year is going to be brutal. So I shall not dwell on it. On the other hand, I guess it's nicer to list out the nicer things to expect this year.

1. Orientation. Crashers are welcome because..hey, I am more than just willing to let others play the "Shampoo" game.
2. Making new friends. Be it freshmen or old men and women.
3. Learning new stuff. (This is just a diplomatically correct answer. Why? At least it looks good on my resume the next time I try to sign up teaching as a career.)

I shall stop at 3 first. The reason being is not that those are the only few events that are 'nice'. Just that I can't think of any others at the moment.

The first day of 2009 was spent at Grandma's place. My Big Aunt requested a family gathering because the grandparents were complaining they were seeing their children less and less and their grandchildren even lesser. If not none at all. I for one had not seen them for almost a year. So trust me when I said I felt guilty as hell when I greeted and conversed with them. The atmosphere there was oddly tense though. Let me tell you why.

There is apparently this storm brewing amongst the uncles and aunties and of course my Mum. This maelstrom was so strong that somehow, us children felt it and tried to avoid them as much as possible. Needless to say, when the topic of 'girlfriend' was broached, those who secretly had ran for cover in the toilet or living room and those who didn't, like me, just cordially smiled along. I mean, the outcome can only result two ways. Either I could be labeled as a homosexual for exhibiting an apparent disinterest or indifference in trying to 'hook up' the opposite sex. Or I am an overdrive, mature too early smart ass who thinks he can handle relationships. So I did what I thought best. Listen to the government's calling for the Land of Million Smiles. When the first cousin took the fall, the rest of us decided it was time to bail. So we headed out for bowling.

The economics R paper is this Friday. I am contemplating not to go because it is seriously stressing me out. I still got Market Structure and god knows what other chapters left to study, mull and scream at. I am going to chuck this depressing piece of news aside first.

As with everyone, I think I will make a list of resolutions. But knowing myself, my ability to adhere to a list normally stops at 3..4, this list shall be sweet, succinct.

1. I will curse, swear and scream at Solman and his economic buddies a lot less. I shall also refrain from holding the lighter whenever I try to comprehend a new economic concept.
2. I will be more optimistic about things.
3. I know this sounds near impossible, but I will try to at least clock 7 hours of sleep a day. It is not inclusive of the number of minutes or hours spent sleeping during tutorials and lectures.

I dreamed that I was smoking along with 3 other lads the other night. It felt real. I could even taste the smoke. Spooky.

2008-12-28T20:36:00.002+08:00

and there was the crab.

I think I have I had said this before, but I will say it again.

There are not many bands whose albums I would listen to cover to cover. At least, if I got a choice or have enough room to maneuver and press the 'Next' button on my iPod. I could only rattle a few of them now. They are Keane, Lost Prophets and All American Rejects. Okay, I think Snow Patrol deserves some credit as well. But that said, it can be seen that the bands that I listen to are more or less mainstream ones. I do have a couple that are off the beaten track. They would be Stars, Blue Foundation and Star Sailor. Don't ask me why non-mainstream bands like the word 'Star' so much. Maybe it's just me.

But I think there is a new member that I could add to the ranks of Keane and AAR. Believe it or not, I honestly think that Fall Out Boy has done it with their latest album, Folie A Deux. I really liked the song Coffee's for Closers. Listened to it a couple of times. And I really really liked it. Enough said.

I bought two things today. And the crab got its revenge. That said, it's time to watch A New Police Story. The actors sound weird being dubbed.

2008-12-26T18:22:00.000+08:00

I'm hungry..

I know this is pretty random, but I think I have pretty nice cousins. But like always, there are a couple of black sheep..Oh well, I could always avoid them.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DENA. =)
I wanted to send an sms to you last night but realised that you didn't have a cell yet. I could always send it to your house phone but I was worried it might wake the rest of the family. =d

I should be finishing up Equilibria by tonight since I have only KSP left. If I have the motivation and if my neck doesn't act up too much, I guess I could try venturing into a little bit of organic chemistry. I kind of miss Ionic Equilibrium already.

2008-12-23T17:40:00.002+08:00

Realizations.

I have to realize that I have some stuff I didn't realize until recently.
Okay. That statement sounds sufficiently stupid.

I realized that I have yet to finish the MCQ Chem Practice. I will get down to it soon.

I realized that this year's Chrismas is going to be slightly different for reasons that defeat me at the moment. I just have this feeling.

I realized that all my cousins surprisingly have the misconception that I would be spending Christmas Eve with a special someone. How queer. I wonder what gave them that impression.

I realized that I really stink at painting and am truly thankful for washable paint. If not, I would be a walking palette now. Sheesh.

I realized that I should get a gift to Jill as well for the Egyptian head. I am just glad it isn't anything remotely related to sand after that dreadful day at Sea Carnival where sand invaded my entire body. And I really mean everywhere.

I realized that I didn't wish you a merry christmas. You the reader of course.

Tagbox seems woefully quiet.

2008-12-18T22:34:00.002+08:00

Jams and explosions.

Playing Far Cry 2 seriously made me ponder how much 'reality' I wanted there to be in virtual reality.
Let's begin on a positive note.
The game is good. Too good in fact that I had to tone down all the nifty graphics and additional details to make the environment much more realistic. I played it at LOW. Quite sad about it actually; but hey, at least I get to shoot a few bastards.

The game so far is not too bad. But I must say it is awfully long. I spent almost the whole day playing it and has only completed like 16% of the game. Most of the time, believe it or not, is spent traveling around the expansive African terrain around in my Jeep or that stupid boat that steers like a diseased monster. I hate the navigation system. The map always blocks my view when I am driving, be it on land or in water, so I invariably ending up crashing into the tree or running aground. I guess I am too used to the GPS system that is used the NFS franchises. Oh yes. And I accidentally killed a couple of zebras and gazelles en route in the game as well. You can't blame me really. The enemies shot my headlights. So, I was literally driving blind (the map still blocking view). So yes. But what goes around comes around. I always ended up turtling when I have a road kill.

The enemies spawn like insects I swear. Even the splicers in Rapture don't reproduce that quickly. So more often than not, I end up having to literally slice my way through since I am left without ammo. NIL.

Guns jam quite a significant bit in the game. My pistols keep exploding. Probably old. So I always use the ones I purchase on the Internet. The RPGS are still a bitch, going the other direction where I want it to go. The most ridiculous shot was one that went 36o. It boomeranged and flew past my head, decimating the house behind me. =.=

I am currently stuck at some junkyard where I have no clue what I am suppose to do. I will take this as a sign and stop playing already. I have got to get my ass back to doing work soon. There are still holiday assignments left undone. Annoyingly. And I am wondering whether or not I should take that R paper. Hmmm.

Overall. The game is good and fully derserves its 94% rating. I wished there were more powerful rides other than stupid Jeeps though. Perhaps a bike or something. Or maybe a rocket propelled skate board. Whatever. I don't mind riding horses even. Sure they will make a good decoy. =D

2008-12-15T19:33:00.002+08:00

new day today.

I am butt tired.
=)
But nonetheless quite happy.
I am currently using my home's wireless network. Yes...you could call me outdated. But as the saying goes, better late than never. The boons of wireless network are abundant. But so are its banes. I just got a few nut jobs attempting to use my wireless network; I don't want to think what.

OGL training today.
Plus Sea Regetta.
And sand got into all parts of my attire (and body) which I previously thought was impossible.
Dinner time.
My stomach feels uncomfortable.

2008-12-12T00:31:00.001+08:00

Thursday.

i tried to take back the times, but luck and karma were against me.
buried it.

On a lighter note, training today was exceptionally special.
Check this out.
http://vjctaekwondo.blogspot.com/

2008-12-07T13:46:00.002+08:00

A few things in water.

I think it's only a matter of time before I call IMH my home. You know in those tv commercials where this girl is in a dilemma? Then out comes the inner Devil and the angel. It's a plenty normal thing cause I believe that everyone has an inner devil as well as a heart of gold; it just depends on the circumstances and many other shitty variables. Anyway, I don't think I've this angel and demon side- you see my demon side everyday by the way. My angelic side? Hahah, April Fool's over. But I think I have this inner 'zhiyang' inside me. Maybe it's the common ailment that bugs single child families. We have to come up with imaginary stuff. And I mean lots of imaginary stuff. I remember I once used the bamboo pole that Mother used to hang clothes and wielded it around like the Monkey God. Invariably, it ended up breaking the clock and a couple of ornaments here and there; so that explains why my home is void of any ornaments. I could had destroyed Dad's precious television as well. And I have without a shadow of doubt be sure that he would return the favour by cracking open my numbskull.

I think I just got another voice in my head. I am pretty sure it's a male one cause it's pretty low. Kinda spooky if it was a high pitched female voice anyway; I could think that that girl from F.E.A.R resided in my subconsicous. Brrr. But I like this new voice. The old one just said "No..No..No. Die die die." That's why I am mostly a skeptic. But this new one...call it hope. Okay, that's a pretty gay name for a guy voice. =.= But anyway, this one is optimistic. And that's nice for a change. So maybe I will get that A for Math next year. I will get that A for PW. I will not get killed by Jill or Chrystal for ponning tkd. Yeah. Stuff like that.

While swimming today, I have concluded a couple of things about me.

1) I cannot, I repeat, cannot swim front crawl for my life. I can, at best, swim for like 2 laps-Olympic size-before dropping dead. But I somehow survived.(See, optimistic side). And the coach is probably going to push me even more next week. Bring it on buster. (See, optimistic side again).

2). I am a rather lucky kid. As much as there are drawbacks for being an only child, you tend to get more or less n times the joy and fun and TOYS and other stuff. N denoting the multiplier if you came from like..a family of 5 etc etc. But of course, if you were that haphazard like I were when I was young, you got quite a bit of shit. I lost count of the number of canes I broke. But mother improvised. She started using the hanger and that was when I discovered the door lock.

3). I think the girl in Jesse McCartney's Leavin' MV is very hot. Haha. I hardly use that term for any XX. But damn, when I saw her..I was like..a complete retard.

Anyway, off to work.

2008-12-04T21:06:00.002+08:00

It's X'mas time and other things.

This post is going to be pretty short. So, here goes.

There was taekwondo training today. It was normal I guess, except that a noticeable number of souls were missing. Jill tried teaching me the brown belt pattern and honestly, although it was pretty fun what with all the 'cat stance', it was pretty darn complicated. My index and WASDRC Crtl fingers and the eye coordination are pretty good. But whole body? Haha. A lot of work to be done.
We lunched at KFC.

Cousin's wedding is going to be this Sunday. This spells another tuition session missed; I hope the guy doesn't hold it against me. I would love to go tutor him instead of attending the wedding which I am pretty dead sure would be a great bore to me. I know. I will bring my biology notes. =D

I so damn want to catch the latest Bleach movie Fade to Black. Too bad I am stuck in sunny Singapore throughout December. What luck.
Off to math. See ya.

2008-12-01T22:45:00.002+08:00

monday marist outing.

It was a gathering.
And it was really a lot of fun.

We cycled in the morning along the usual route: ECP>Changi>ECP. The difference this time round is that we have the luxury of time on our side; so we didn't have to pedal like a bunch of mad ducks to avoid paying the fine. I wonder what happened to spur the generosity of the Uncle to offer us 3 hours for the price of 1. Maybe it was due to economic meltdown. But then, wouldn't it be more sound to charge a higher price? Cause wouldn't it mean that there would perhaps be less cars on the road and perhaps, more bikes? Oh well. Just a random thought, but I have decided that my first car is most probably going to be a Mini. I wonder if it consumes gas like mad...

During the ride, we, which included Dewei, Weichao, Glen and I kind of lost sight of Jose and Ling Ken. Glen said they were making out...maybe he was just jealous. I don't know. I do know that I collided into Dewei but thank goodness, I was left unscathed. The bike was not that fortunate though. We reached Changi Beach after god knows how long and just stoned there and complained about our aching butts. My butt is still very sore. =| Jose and Ling Ken finally caught up with us after about 10-15 minutes or so and they wounded up playing a few rounds of bridge with Weichao and Glen and Dewei before we had to leave lest the dark skies became physical. The ride back was not that comfortable either. My butt ached like hell and I had to listen to the iPod to get distracted.

We saw a couple of road kills too. There was a cockroach and a bloated frog. Don't ask me why the frog was bloated.
Dewei then left for some event and his position was taken over by Weijian. Lunch was at Subway.

The initial plan to play pool was scrapped and we hit the theatres instead. We couldn't decide on what show to watch as usual. I wanted to catch quarantine but someone had reservations. Haha. So we ended up watching Bodies of Lies instead and played asshole tie-ti before the show started. I was king for a few rounds..not bad.
The movie was okay. But I shall not divulge anymore details; I didn't know the hammer was such a persuasive tool..

Dinner at the Japan Village. The food was mediocre but more importantly was the rounds of asshole tie-ti. HAHAHA. We laughed our asses off with each round and it got pretty intense occasionally. Colourful language was thrown about and..ahem. Hahah. Maybe that was why the girls on the next bench left so early. Oh. Whatever.

2008-11-30T19:23:00.002+08:00

Pick up the god damn phone.

I tried calling weichao just now and the bugger didn't pick up the phone. I don't know why; people who don't pick up the phone just piss me off. Messenger pigeons should still be alive in this era. At least they can most definitely get the attention of the being called. Of course, I could go a step further and train an eagle or a hawk or a vulture for that manner to deliver my message. In that way, the person that I wish to contact will definitely get the message. Pun intended.

Anyway, I finally had my swimming test today. It felt nice for a change being the tallest amongst all of those being tested. Okay okay, for a bunch of 7-12 year olds, I should be naturally taller than them. I guess it's no wonder that I owned them in all of the aspects of the test. I guess the other parents are secretly trying to compete with each other. Perhaps this is what was going on in their heads while the test was underway:

"My AH BOY will confirm will one. See. RED TRUNKS RED TRUNKS. SWIM SO FAST'

Then enter me. The bastard aged 17. I practically strolled past the other swimmers.

"WHAT! Who the hell is that? BIG UGLY GIANT. AHYA, he older marh, so he would win.".
Naturally, her train of thought will alter if her ah boy actually wins me. Thankfully, that didn't happen. We have enough egotistical men already. I don't think I fall into the category. =)

I had lunch with my cousin afterwards along with his family. I swear he could eat a horse and more. I had my fill and just stopped stuffing myself. I don't want all that swimming to go to waste. I think after this test-I was told by the tester that I passed- I can pop down the Geylang Bahru pool and swim my fill. I would run since it is less of a hassle to run than to swim..but I like swimming a lot lot more than I like running. I don't know why. Perhaps I feel freer when I am in the pool. And for the last time, it's not for the freaking birds damn it.

Oh well, I will try calling weichao again. I will only try 3 times. After that, I won't give a damn even if he sent the A380 to deliver the message to me.

2008-11-29T13:47:00.002+08:00

I'm with...haha.

I just got home after visiting the dentist. I think it's the norm to be afraid visit the dentist. After all, the mouth is a very sensitive organ and what with all the sharp drills that the fellow is using, it is no wonder kids will wail outside. But I wasn't afraid. Okay, perhaps that is not saying much. I used to have this tooth problem that required surgery. Apparently, I had 3 adult front teeth. 1 had already come out and after the other milk tooth became shaky and finally came off, the adult tooth never quite arrived. It turned out that I had 2 adult teeth for that single 1 milk tooth; talk about an unexpected bonus. The 2 idiots were competing to get out and in the end, they ended up blocking up each other and that effectively left my toothless.

I remember waking up during surgery. Or was I dreaming? I am not sure either. But I do remember being put to sleep smelling strawberry. The doctor asked me which flavour I prefered: strawberry or bananas. I didn't want to go to sleep dreaming of monkeys. And did I mention that my very first dentist was a female? Haha. She was more like a sister to me and everytime I pop down, she never fails to cheer me up. Even that syringe that she holds in her hand doesn't look the least bit daunting. I wonder how she's doing..

Things have been picking up momentum. I believe December will be slightly more packed with training kick starting and the OGL meetings turned up a notch or two. More cheers, banner painting, acting as well as OGH selection. Of course, not to mention that I need to get to know the fellow OGL better. =p.
I think I will finally be finishing integration today. Urgh. I should stop slacking. I have also uninstalled COD and Bioshock, and deleted the saved games as well, to stop myself from being distracted. That undoubtedly ended up with me logging onto the Internet more often but oh well, I most definitely spent less time on the Net than in Rapture. I will probably be getting NFS Undercover though and hopefully finish it during CNY.

it wasn't as easy as I thought it to be.
everywhere i turn i keep seeing that word.
life's taunting.
another lesson i guess?
i need to ask a question. but not sure if i should.

2008-11-22T17:51:00.002+08:00

Circuses.

I think the pop princess is back. Yup. I am listening to Britney's newest album Circus and honestly, it is really good. Okay, perhaps it's not as good as Snow Patrol's, but still, I find it somewhat better than Blackout. And I manage to get Rise Against's Appeal to Reason; I like the first song very very much. If only I could play the guitar like that. DAMN.

Anyway, I finally got my new shoes today Queensway. I went with Mum of course cause I have ran below the half way mark of my savings when I bought the shirts and pants and other whatnot the week before. Mum was surprisingly...generous.

At other times, it will take a full moon and her striking lottery-which to sum it up, is never- to persuade her to buy me 2 pairs of shoes. What made today even more a bottle of surprise is that she bought 2 pairs of shoes..on the same day! Heh.
I managed to get that Adidas Stan edition. It's green.
And I finally got a Nike Classic. I kinda realised that the shoe looks very small when I wear the school pants...but oh well, who cares. It's very comfortable though.

I am tired like hell now. And I will be finishing up integration tonight. FINALLY. So what leaves for tomorrow is just to learn about the area under the graph shit and maybe get back my probability notes from Sharon.
It was a nice day today.

2008-11-21T18:08:00.002+08:00

It's Like a Mystery Novel.

The conversation had last night wasn't as bad as I thought. I kind of felt freer being able to talk without worrying that it will signify some immoral intention or cheesing you off. I still can't help but feel that the entire matter was..oh well. It was a fiasco.

I felt unbelievably lethargic today. One half of my brain wanted to do work while the other just wanted to see the day go by. The latter won. But I did manage to do some decent reading before I dozed off on the sofa. And I had a dream; it seems that whenever I read before I sleep, I will never fail to get weird dreams. I guess it was a good thing it was nothing horror cause I just spent the day watching horror films. I watched Creep and honestly, it was not that scary. Okay, maybe perhaps it was the 'morning' factor but hey, even if it's in the night, I doubt if it has enough scare factor to creep the shit out of me. I then proceeded to watch Child's Play. The one with you know, Chucky the Good Guy Doll? Yeah. I was watching it while having lunch before the disc just freaking jammed in the DVD Player. I tell you, what's more horrifying than female ghosts is to see my Dad hit the roof when he finds his beloved DVD Player spoiled when he gets home. So the hell I had to get the damn thing out. It got out. Thankfully. I am sticking to DVD from now on. No more damn VCD.

I think I will be doing a bit more integration tonight. I am doing it slow. Really slow. But it's enjoyable cause at least there isn't that stress and constant nagging feeling that this exam or that test is looming so I have to work my butt off to try to ace it. I never managed to ace math so far. Damn. Saddening. Oh yeah, I need to do something about economics too. Oh well, I guess my holidays are slowly occupying themselves up. Thanks to my subconscious. Urgh.

2008-11-20T15:54:00.005+08:00

it's about time.

Allow me to be a little bit lazy in blogging for a day.
I don't think I will be posting anything worth reading today so I will just put up some songs that I am currently hooked on. Yes..it's snow patrol. I think this is the second favourite band of mine..right after lost prophets.

The song "The Lightning Strikes" comprises of three parts.
a) What if the storm ends.
b) The Sunlight Through The Flags
c) Daybreak.

I like the first one the best though. The other two aren't that bad either anyway.

2008-11-19T21:33:00.003+08:00

A hundred million suns.

That, just to let you know, is the title of Snow Patrol's latest album. Besides, one would had to be blind, deaf, lose the sense of smell and the sense of touch altogether to actually use that phrase to describe the weather these days. It's pretty cool isn't it? A simple change in nature such as shine to rain actually utilizes all of our senses. Well, almost all of our sense. But of course, I won't stop you if you want to go taste the rain. It's probably stuffed full of the toxic fumes that just came out of your Dad's Nissan or whatever.

There was an Illumus OGL meeting today. So yes, just so Sharon wouldn't freak out, it's not a huge OGL meeting.
To be honest, I have no freaking idea what I was down there for. I mean, I hardly contributed and so shut up most of the time. Maybe I was just being anti-social. I don't know. I could always blame the medication that was making me drowsy so I probably looked like I was on the verge of collapse anytime. We ended the meeting having to go home and churn the brain-rusty rusty brain of mine- for OG subgroup names...cheers and storyline. I already roughly have a storyline in my head already. But it sounds very sci-fi AND hahaha, I am borrowing the theme from Bioshock. Well of course I can try COD, but it wouldn't coincide with the theme for next year's orientation which is..kinda..okay-ish.

It has been raining a lot lately. I like rain. But only at night. I think I am a plenty weird person. Cause I like the Sun and I hate the Moon. And when I was young, I thought I was some freak cause the Sun or Moon was following me. It kind of freaked me out back then but then, I got to know Science. And that was when I realised that stalking was normal. The only thing that still scares the shit out of me, but notably less so, is still probably female spirits clad in white cloaks and having ridiculously long hair covering their faces. I would like to attach a photo for illustration but I still want to sleep. These buggers never fail to scare the crap out of me. I don't know why.

I will be finally getting a new pair of shoes this Friday at Queensway. Why not tomorrow? I don't know. =P
Check out Snow Patrol's latest album. I find it a lot nicer than Chasing Cars. Especially the song "The Lightning Strikes". The song lasts for around 16minutes cause there are 3 parts. I like the 1st part the best.

what if this storm ends?
and i don't see you
as you are now
ever again.

2008-11-18T20:54:00.003+08:00

Science Centre.

Yes...another milestone completed.
Hahaha. Of course NOT. My life isn't that pathetic that I actually list going to the Science Centre as one of my life's objectives. I thought that since the episode of bleach is still loading, I would take some time to come and blog. Oh, how nice..there's going to be another bleach movie coming out this December. It's such a pity I can't pop down to Japan and watch it. If I swim there....Yeah, I probably won't be able to make it in time.

I sometimes wonder what life would be if I were a bleach character. Hahaha. I know..Those were the times I was really having a wild imagination. I would like to be a Vizard. Like Hirako. Holy cow that guy gets to fire a Cero. The hell I wouldn't mind doing that at some people that piss me off.

OKAY. Enough of this bleach nonsense. Let's talk about today.

The PCR thing was quite fun. But coming to the end of the entire experiment and stuff, I kind of lost interest and my brain shut down. At least I got Hidhir-I am just being diplomatic here. My dye results were faint...but at least I got some results. Hahaha!! =X
Personally, I enjoyed the time spent walking around Science Centre. We got to do some fun stuff like hitting that hammer thing to see the score. I completely pwned Hidhir. Then we saw a few exhibits. Oh yeah, I cannot believe what a moron I was standing there looking at that piece of drawing for almost 7 minutes just to realise that the kid was near a very big fish. Invert the picture 180degrees and the fish becomes a boat and the kid is in it.
I saw kheh yang though and I am pretty sure he didn't see me. Oh well, I was too tired to wave and say Hi anyway; the medication was making me very drowsy.

There is going to be an OGL meeting tomorrow. I hope it goes well.

Houston, I've walked on.

2008-11-17T16:23:00.002+08:00

GO AWAY!

Those two words describe plenty for me now.

First of all, my sore throat is still there. I can safely say that this is by far one of the worst sore throats I have ever had. It feels as though someone went to use sand paper and polished my oesophagus and then sprinkled salt generously on it. It feels bad. I could count myself lucky that I didn't get a fever this time around. It had better not show its ugly face tonight...then it will really spoil my week.

I went to doc this late morning. I wasn't surprised to see a crowd in the clinic. Hahaha. Apparently, many people were either down with flu or stomachache and had to get that MC to skip work. Or maybe they are just faking it. Oh well. It kinda sucks going to see the doctor alone. Everyone there is with their siblings...other halves...even grandparents are there. I did contemplate going out to the library after seeing the doctor, but when I stepped out of the clinic, it started to rain buckets. My plans were shelved and I hopped into a cab and sped home.

The cough medicine is kicking in already. I am feeling damn sleepy. But to hell with this sense of drowsiness. Why? Cause I know I am gonna have hell trying to fall asleep tonight because of the damn throat so all the better if I went to bed tired from medication. I can then enter slumberland much much easier.

2008-11-16T19:34:00.002+08:00

Is it really.

A number of things have happened in the past 2 days.
Most notably, my cousin's getting married in December and the entire Chionh clan was there to do some pre-marriage celebration. I called it pre-Game Over celebrations. =P Oh well, it was essentially stoning time for me. Why so? To put it simply, the cousins, I was never close to them in the first place, were preoccupied with either their computers, conversations about the financial crisis or their other halves.
In the end, because I decided not to bring my laptop, I was left with either the SCV or just listening to the Pod. I chose SCV but was soon reduced to just watching to muted conversations between actresses and actors because the talking by the adults and grandparents was just too bloody loud. I found a PSP lying on the table and just played it. I played Bleach and it was got owned by Aizen. =.= Yeah..

My family left earlier-Dad didn't go cause he got work to do. I needed to get a new pair of slippers cause the old Billabong was pretty worn out; there's this pit in the sole of the slipper. I have no idea what could have caused it...maybe friction? Oh well, it doesn't matter cause I have already got a new pair. This time, it's black.
In the end, what turned out to be a trip to buy slippers turned into buying mermudas, long sleeved shirt and another pair of skinny. The last two items were for the wedding cause I hated my other long sleeved shirt-made me look...I don't know. Hooker-ish. The bermudas were just for...I don't know. I just saw it and hey, what the heck.

Swimming lessons this morning. And I got another surprise. I woke up with a sore throat. Damn. This is an omen. In the next coming days, I will be afflicted with a fever and no doubt a bad flu. I am already having the shivers. Damn. I have no freaking idea where I got the bug from! =.=

I am ending with this song by David Archuleta from American Idol. It has no referrences to anything whatsoever.
Please click here. Youtube somehow disabled the embedded feature.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yff9nCctMkg

2008-11-14T20:51:00.002+08:00

Kinda beat but fun nonetheless.

It was the ZOO trip today!

All right, other than the annoying incident where the deranged zookeeper decided to end his life by leaping into the white tiger enclosure, the group managed to visit almost all of the animals. Hidhir was exceptionally disappointed at not being able the see the big white cats though.

I woke up late and reached school just in the nick of time to catch the bus. Okay, that's stretching stuff a bit but I managed to get to school just in time for departure. The turn out was...okay. It could be better. Oh well, I am sure the rest have a valid reason for not coming-their friggin loss. Hahaha.

The journey there was long and boring. My earphones decided to die on me on Monday so I was left essentially with an iPod. I could play the iPod and imagine the tunes and beat and lyrics, but that will just make me look like an utter moron. I tried to get some shut-eye but failed. Jerky bus ride.

The zoo trip was fun...but not really that..I don't know..enlightening? Heh. It was nice though really. I didn't like the show in the end. I felt like a cuckoo watching it...they should have like an age limit or something. Let's say..People below age 12 are not allowed to watch this show. Hahaha. It was cuckoo! And yeah, there was a cuckoo bird that flew around during the performance.
It rained when the show ended so the group just loitered around.

I am dead ass tired so I will stop now. At least I am living up to my promise of being a faithful blogger and not wasting bandwidth.
Remind me to get pictures from Oli.

2008-11-13T15:10:00.002+08:00

OGL and other things.

I am trying out this new blogskin cause I am kinda sick of the dino attack one.
I love dinosaurs but I still prefer flying robots that shoot lasers more.
And I don't like Darth Vedar.

There was an OGL meeting today and guess what? I was not late. =D
Okay...Punctuality and I never quite got acquainted. Just ask around the Marists, I am one of those bastards who never fail to turn up late. Even if the destination was a mere 10minute ride from my home.

The meeting started late(not surprised) but it was overall enjoyable. It did kind of sucked when the people I wanted to be group up with winded up elsewhere. But hey! At least this grants me the opportunity to make new friends. I am not sure if I made new friends today. I only know their names and got their numbers-for protocol sakes. Julian's in the same OG as well but different sub-OG group. Ha. But there is something I want to speak to him about.

We did the usual ice-breakers but not much ice was broken due to the unfortunately brief period of time spent together. Maybe I should had be livelier. Oh well, my eyelids were shutting-I am not sure why- and I sorely needed to sleep. But thankfully, I didn't. It would be awfully rude, especially since Wen Suan-new friend made today- and that other girl-sorry I can't remember your name- were trying to garner out attention.

Illumous will win.
=D

Orientation 2009 will span across 5 days. The theme changed so as to coincide with VJ's 25th Anniversary. Although I do understand the rationale behind it, but I think it kinda sucked cause I was looking forward to the more dramatic "Light and Dark" theme. Now..I don't know. Of course orientation will still be fun, but...Oh well. I shouldn't complain.
The class S33 got dispersed quite far and wide.

If I am not mistaken, Oli and Nic ended up at Ivanhoe. Fat ended up elsewhere and Shermaine..I cannot remember; I was still pretty busy looking for my name in the list. Sharon ended up in some R group. I cannot remember the name either. Not that it will matter...he he he.

Comments on the new skin? I will try to look for a more dark coloured one. Turqoise isn't exactly my favourite tone of blue.

2008-11-12T18:22:00.002+08:00

Grey grey skies.

It has been 3 days already into the holidays.
I guess I should be thankful that unlike other colleges, VJ doesn't require us to go back for lectures and lessons. Quite honestly, I don't see myself putting my ass down and listen to the lecturer yak something about market forces or polarities or some old geezer mathematical formula. My mind has kinda switched itself off for the past 3 days.

I have been trying to turn it on but in vain. Mum has been insisting I get my eyes off the laptop and do something productive. Maybe I should go find a job. Yeah, I should do that. You won't find me at Macdonald's though. I could go try asking my Uncle for a job at his construction business. As to what I can do there is still a big question mark. Maybe I will go mix cement or something. Hahaha.

It has been raining an awfully lot lately. I am worried. I hope it doesn't rain this Friday cause it will really spoil the zoo trip. Dang. Never mind we have to trod the zoo in the rain, all of the animals will probably be holed up in their caves or finding shelter under a banana tree or something. Not the least bit entertaining. Oh well, at least we get to see one fundamental adaptation of evolution: When it rains, bleeding find shelter. =.=''

There will be an OGL meeting tomorrow. I am hoping I will get into the same OGs as those from Cyrus Clyde. So far, I only know Chrys applied. Haha. It will be hard on my partner though. Why? Cause most of the time, I will be in 'stone mode'. =B But I will try not to. It will soil the image of 'lively' VJ.

i wonder..hahahahaha.

2008-11-09T21:51:00.002+08:00

this used to be a funhouse, but now there are just evil clowns.

I solemnly promise now that I shall be faithful.
I shall religiously update the blog so that it will not be another waste on bandwidth or whatever it is called.
Looking back, I noticed that I have an awful habit of not paragraphing right. Either that or I actually do some decent paragraphing, but due to the whacked layout of the blogskin, it seems ridiculously cramped. So. I will be paragraphing big.

A significant bit has happened since I last blogged. Most evident is that PW has finally stopped breathing. To be frank. I think I will miss that monster of a project. It is by far, other than Life Science, one of the longest projects that I have undertaken. Almost a whole blooming year! Not to mention all the anguish, frustration, pent up anger, stoning, and muffled 'fuck' that I had gone through. It was during PW that I nearly swore at a girl. It was just at the tip of my tongue. But looking back, it was good that I didn't. Why? Cause I guess most of the fault was mine. I was an awfully quiet leader. Was I even one? I don't know.

If any of the PW members are reading this, which I doubt any would, I think I will miss you all. Of course we will still be seeing one another still next year (sigh), but I will miss the times together. Not to mention that single day at my house and that surprise birthday party for Joanne. (I finally bought my groceries though). But yeah, I will miss it. Not to mention the baby project. I can't believe I actually grew attached to the son of a bitch ED project. It reigned a lot of hell upon me. And the Health Promotion Board has yet to reply me yet. Tsk. Talk about x-inefficiency.

I have come to realise that I really enjoy swimming. It really gives me that sense of freedom. And whenever I feel lazy, I would just let myself drift. There are currents in public pools thankfully from all the crazy paddling and kicking by the kids. Hahaha. But other than the water tasting like crap, I really enjoy swimming. My swimming test is next week. Wish me luck.

It's been a long year. There is without a doubt that it's gonna be longer next year. We will survive.

close your eyes and trust that...just trust it.
have you ever thrown a fistful of glitter into the air?
it's only halfpast the point of no return.
have you ever hated yourself staring at the phone?
your whole life waiting to prove that you aren't alone.
there you are.
and i called you....nevermind.

2008-10-23T18:44:00.002+08:00

Thursday.

I really am a lousy blogger. Quite frankly, these days, I really find myself getting lazier to the extent that I don't even give a rat ass about blogging. Haha. Oh well, let today be different.
Allow me to recap what has happened so far. But there are limitations. Because I had a very temperamental memory, I only tend to remember certain stuff and forget the rest. Oh well, enough jibber jabber, on with the show.

I have been watching a couple of shows lately. If you count those broadcast on Channel 5, I am watching about 4 shows now. There's CSI, Ghost Whisperer-seriously this show isn't scary at all-, Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill. I borrowed the DVD from Vic for OTH but I have been on a hiatus since two days ago because of PW and other stuff. So ya, I might take a little bit longer to complete season 2. Sorry about it.
Speaking of Victoria, she happened to be one of my interviewers today for OGL interview. I wonder how I did. Heh. Screw that for the moment. It's not in my hands to decide whether or not I become an OGL already anyway.
Surprise suprise.
OP seems to be a lot friendlier as compared to WR. Well, I guess the most logical reason is that the data and information in the OP are mostly obtained from the WR. At least, that is the case for my group. All we need is some imba animation and a little help from Van Gogh, Picasso and God.

Miss Teo spoke to me yesterday. It turned out that she shared my sentiments. I guess I am taking the R paper. Just so that I can preserve some stupid pride of mine, I would just add that I am doing it voluntarily. But honestly, it's really what the fuck man. My econs isn't that good to begin with so I am just taking this out of my own accord. For my own bleeding good. And I have kinda had it with Mum breathing down my neck for doing so badly for economics. I didn't like the fucking subject to begin with anyway. I would jolly better in Cheena studies or some other fuck subject.
Urgh.

2008-10-11T00:27:00.001+08:00

Goodbye Miss Teo.
I am still gonna send you essays though. Haha.

*gosh I look horrible. Must be PW.

2008-10-08T21:06:00.003+08:00

late start. Ahahaha.

Since I'm in the midst of doing the WR now, I will finish this post in point form.

1. I reached school at 11.15am today because I didn't feel like waking up early. How rebellious. Haha. Oh well, at least I made it in time for PW and Economics which was essentially a photo-taking session. I have no idea what the Lit people were doing in the Econ classroom though.

2. I went to Sakae with someone other than Dewei and Zhenghui today. Wow. Haha. Nah, these two are nice company. I had the Tenzaru Soba today albeit I sorely wished that there was a buffet because I was really hungry. I went with Leanne, Reema, Claire, Binghao and Sonya.

3. I brought a stray cat home today but had to ask it to leave shortly after it got into the house because it was starting to wage a war with the sofa. God knows why. Now I am just praying Mum doesn't notice the 'few' strands of fibre sticking out here and there. Maybe it will just say my mechanical pencil got caught and I had to rip it out. Oh what the hell.

4. I really don't want to do the Annex because it is a killer. Someone shoot me please.

5. If I can find the stray again tomorrow, I will still bring it home. This time round, I will make sure it stays somewhere near the balcony. I hope they catch the asshole who spray painted the cat at VJ soon.

2008-10-06T18:48:00.002+08:00

it's been a while.

I am finally going to throw my ass back into the blogosphere. In a bid to correct my incomplete sentences syndrome kindly pointed out by my examiner, I shall attempt to write this entire blog post completely. Although I have perfectly no idea what the hell was wrong previously with my sentences. Maybe they sounded detached? That might be one of the reasons. It is such a pity they don't accept abstract art in GP essays.
I am going to recount what happened today.

Quite unsurprisingly, ever since the exams ended, there has been little incentive for me to crawl out of bed faster so that I can get to VJ sooner. Oh yes. There will be CT session tomorrow so expect me to be even later. Frankly, CT sessions are really quite boring once the teacher starts droning about some life lesson. I know it is useful at some point or another, but please, at 8am in the morning, the only thing I want to learn is how to sleep with all the noise around me.

The first paper that I got back was economics. I think it was a miracle that my market structure question actually scored higher than my demand and supply question. Honestly, how I managed to do that was really quite...bewildering. I am still at a loss. But the bottom line is, I still flopped for the essay. I can tell myself that this time around, I really did try my best because I did send essays for Miss Teo to grade and I really did quite grasp, at least with a deeper understanding, about the concepts and principles of economics. It was quite daunting. But hey, I am trying my best to make it my best friend. I am trying trust me. I made a call to Miss Teo to probe about the case study question. Not surprisingly, that ended with a fail as well. Overall, I failed my promotional exams for Economics. But the grand total, I somehow managed a pass. 46.7 Can you believe that? It's probably class participation and the extra work done. I swear here now that by the end of next year, I am going to get 76.4 marks for my economics. I will strive hard. Really hard.

It was a break after that and we played CS again. I was beginning to lose my touch and subconsciously, I kept hitting the 'shift' key to make the character sprint. Hahaha. It was something from COD4. Bad habit. I managed a number of kills. The MP-5 is really a dumb-proof deadly gun.

Chemistry lesson was up next. Everyone did moderately well. I feel kind of sorry for those that didn't get the marks they actually deserved. They surely paid in more effort than I did..but alas. Don't worry, it will be better. =) Miss Chia didn't hesitate to give us back the results. This is a far cry from those days back at Maris Stella where Khoo will first hand us back the Answers and then the scripts. Haha.
MCQ was dotted with careless mistakes. I refused to look at the question paper because I know I would seriously kick myself in the ass for all the unnecessary carelessness. Hot damn. The Structured portion was moderately okay I guess. It could had been better but still...I just have to break the limit. Once again, there were a few careless errors here and there. There were a couple of unexpected correct answers as well; the ones that I thought were confirm wrong turned out right. Nice surprise.
The essays were temperamental. I scored like 9/20 for the first question and was totally dumbstruck. Sharon said I looked cool today but really, some where deep down I was swearing throughout. The second question pulled me up thankfully. I managed 19/20. Crazy stuff. The marker was obviously feeling emo when he marked the first part and high when he marked the second part. Nuts. Overall, Chemistry was fine I guess. I managed a B. Score is 68. Urgh. 2 more marks till 70. Damn.

Biology was up next and this was the mother of all bombs. I thought I would do fine for Biology but NO......It was horrible. I failed the Structured questions. I failed the Essay. But I passed the MCQ. Somehow or other, I passed for the Grand Total. To be honest, I just barely scrapped through with a miserable 49.9. Let's round it up to 50 to make it look nice.

Math was up next. Mrs Koh said the three guys did well. But that set us worried because what EXACTLY is 'well'. It turned out that my math 'prowess' has dipped in form a significant bit. I managed a sad 67...There is definitly room for improvement and I smell the A within reach. Here I come. You better be prepared.

Oh yes. How could I forget about GP. We paid Mrs Liew a visit to get our scripts and ho ho ho. She said it was horribly done. Well what do you expect man. The comprehension was about some nonsensical bullshit about chick lit and lad lit and honestly, who the hell gives a fuck about such a fucked genre? We just want to read and PERIOD. If it's just a fad it will fade. If it isn't your sons and grandsons will be reading it. End of story. Why make such a big fuss about this fucking genre as though it is loaded with uranium and plutonium and could mark the fucking end of the literary world? Geez. Anyway, I failed my composition; managed a miserable 21. But the comprehension pulled me up. The summary portion was my saving grace. Overall, I passed for GP.

To total everything up for the year 2008 which was eventfully uneventful, I got:
B
B
E
E
E
For the promotional exams. I can't be bothered to string those damn alphabets into some damn word. I would love to have AAAAC though. But then, that does not seem to be tangible in the near future. At least, it isn't possible now. But I am trying.
I hope the rest of the people did okay.

2008-09-29T22:56:00.001+08:00

I really don't like dubbed anime.

2008-09-26T22:09:00.002+08:00

O.V.E.R

Yah. The bloody exams are finally over. Gone. Poof. Dead, in more than ways than one.
The last paper was biology. And honestly, I don't harbor high hopes for this cause honestly, I didn't do much revision. Most of the time was spent on reading and memorizing some god-forsaken sequence that I have no clue what is all about. There was little time left to practice papers. Although I know of one bugger who probably finished all of the revision papers. -.-
So..let me recap this eventful promos.

GP Paper:
don't wanna talk about it.

Econs:
I worked my ass off for this okay. Okay, maybe not that hard? But relative to like..Midyears. There was quite a bit of work done. I mean, I actually sat my ass down and typed out 3 essay questions for Miss Teo to mark. Oh yes. I sincerely thank for for her time wasted in marking my substandard essays. I will try to brush them up to the gold standard I had had back then in Sec4 in SS. The paper was moderately all right I guess. Essay was a fucking murder. I actually went to do the Market Structure question? Man. 25 marks. I don't wanna think about it.

Chemistry:
The paper was fine. But I believe I made a few careless errors here and there. Sadly. Wonder if the A is still in reach.

Math:
It wasn't THAT bad relative to Midyears-notice I am comparing everything to midyears. So..should be okay. But I worry for my integration cause I blanked out on that day. Always hated memorizing math formulas. Felt that they were always in the way ya know? I do math differently in an oddball manner. So ya, my bad I guess.

Biology.
Fucking long paper with no time. Get the point? Die la. I just wanna get like a D or C for this.

Off to games.

2008-09-09T23:41:00.000+08:00

real sweet.

fuck you Biology.

2008-09-03T22:13:00.002+08:00

Wednesday. Half way through happiness.

So I finally went out during this holiday. Mission objective: Study. Mission Outcome?
Personally, I would say FAIL but according to Binghao and Hidhir, it was success beyond words. Oh, Shermaine shared my sentiments.
I went down to PP today at around 1+ and met them at BK. It so happened that Jill was there as well with her friend whose name escapes me at the moment. But if I remember correctly, she's the one who I sent the Pokemon file to. Anyways, it was decided that lunch was to be settled at that fast food joint. Since it was 3 votes against 1-me- I just followed. PS. BK Fish isn't very healthy, what with all that tar-tar sauce and unsaturated fats.
So we studied for a while there. I did my Chemistry-realised how shitty it was- Binghao and Hidhir I think were doing Biology which I had been neglecting so far. Shermaine...I can't remember her doing anything. Haha. She wasn't even at the table.
Anyway, bottom line is. Studying at BK.
Sucks.
The lighting was terrible. One damn light tube kept flickering and it utterly pissed the shit out of me. Then there was the incessant laughter from this bunch of dudes not so far away from us. Laugh. Laugh. Loud laugh. Urgh. So we decided to heat down to DOME. If we did, we might had bumped into Claire but instead, I suggested Coffee Bean so we went there instead.

We made a slight detour as Binghao had to buy his coconut or whatever.

Studying at Coffee Bean was way better. The environment was conducive and haha, there was some sight-seeing to do. But that aside. I managed to complete (FINALLY) the stoichio exercise on chem and Alkenes revision and was about to embark on the next topic when Binghoa suggested going for a fashion trip. -.-
Okay.
So off we went.
Of course there were a few hiccups during the studying...This baby kept screaming behind my ear really annoyed me. My ear drums probably thinned a couple of milimeters.
We went to Topman and for the first time in my life-okay..maybe more than just ONCE- I felt that I have neglected the fashion industry for quite a while. I mean, you can't blame me all right? There're much important stuff to pay notice to. For example, there's the damn promos, e assessments and money. I just spent like a relatively huge sum-to me la- on this laptop and if I go and get myself another shirt from Topman, my Mum would probably let me sleep in the lift lobby. It isn't that bad when the weather is cooling. But of the late, it's been raining non-stop and the place is kinda smelly.

Anyway, back to the main picture.
So we walked and we walked around Topman. Then Binghao went home and the three remaining went to the Arcade to unwind.
I swear gaming on the keyboard and mouse has damaged my console prowess. I actually lost like 4 times to Hidhir on Marvel VS Capcom. I don't believe this man. Urgh. But then again, I was trying to use logic to decipher the moves so I probably lost time and life during those moments. We played Daytona where Hidhir played dirty and lang-gah into me in the last lap. Ma de..Another Dewei. Grr.
On a lighter note, I managed to thrash the both of them in air hockey 7-1 and almost own the basketball game. Haha.

It started to rain.

Hidhir took a cab home and Shermaine and I took 31.
The important details start here.
Normally, a trip from PP to Kallang, even in the peak hours, would take no more than 45 minutes.
Gues what.
Today, I took 1 hour +++++ to get home.
Why? Because some cabbie mounted the kerb on a single lane and TA DAH. The WHOLE FREAKING LANE WAS BLOCKED.

*breathe*
The above scenario happened at Old Airport Road.
So, in order not to waste any precious time and to get home to start studying ASAP, Shermaine and I alighted. And we walked.
We walked from Old Airport Road to Kallang.
Wonderful.
I guess it isn't so bad because at least there's accompany and a couple of funny things that happened en route.
(Guys..if you wanna have 1-1 time with girl, pray bus breaks down)
And no..we are just friends. Haha
So we walked and we walked
Boy was it long.
Mum kept ringing me up why I was taking so bloody long to get home. I swear if not for the bus reason, I would be a dead fish now.
But it was nice. It's been a long long time ever since I managed to have a long walk and talk with someone. The last time this happened was during Sec4 I think when I chatted with...can't remember. It was either Julian or De wei. Ah.
So by the time we reached Kallang, it was around 9+.
And that's that.
By the way, it is quite nice to walk from the Old Airport Road area to Kallang. I know it's nice at night but mid-day, er..not so nice. Haha.

Oh well. As much as I found it unproductive today..It was nice unwinding for a while.
Maybe I should had played Time Crisis..then I would have owned. Oh, they both 'died' at Para Para. Haha.

2008-09-02T12:04:00.001+08:00

Sidetracking.

Oh well.
I saw this link on my teacher's MSN contact and I went and...
Ah. Studying has made my SS linkages rusty. Shit.

www.marisstellahumania.blogspot.com

Check it out.
I kinda like the latest entry. Somehow, I had the same sentiments when I read it? Haha. Wonder who the writer is though. Hmmm.

Oh well. Back to work.

2008-08-31T15:21:00.002+08:00

Rebuilding from the start.

It sucks growing up.
To me that is, I don't know about the rest of the folks.
There's the ever growing pile of work, deadlines, goals and yes, how can I forget about love.
I think I will get myself stoned to death if I were to push all the fault to that girls so let's take it as 50:50.
And no..the for damn last time, I have no problems in this relationship thing-not that I am a pro- just that I really am not in the gear for this kinda stuff now.

I don't know what got into me today..it's just..I don't know. Fatigue? Or maybe it's frustration. Or maybe it's just work and the demands of promos has pushed me to the fucking edge that I probably say "Oh man. Fuck it.". Yah, that would probably make a more apt sentence that that dude from 300 should scream instead of "SPARTANS!"

Oh. Have you heard? There will be 16 ERP gantries in the KPE. So ya, I can understand why people will visit me less often these days-not that the Chionh family gets that many visitors anyway. Mum has decided that the family would be flying overseas to 'escape' the lunacy of Lunar New Year so yeah, the relatives will probably be very happy to save on petrol and the damn ERP charges. Destination? I have no idea. But with conflicting interests-Dad is more Asia while I am more European oriented-we will probably be ending up somewhere like Thailand. Hahaha.

I had my usual swimming lesson today. After that near fainting spell last week, the body seems to be used to me pushing it a little bit more. Although that asshole of a teacher keeps on harping on why the hell I must rest for a while after swimming like '1 lap'. Correction. I always swim 5 laps before I take a break so either you must be blind from all that fog in your goggles or my math skills are just plain lousy. Whatever. It just got me pissed.
I swam slightly less today. Not 25. Only 24. Not that I am complaining but hey, I love swimming more than I do running so yeah...Give me a pool and I will swim. I attempted backstroke today and guess what? It worked surprisingly well. Haha. Albeit I nearly collided into some kid setting off currents with his crazy freestyle. I swear these kids run on Energizers.

Oh well.
I still hate growing up.
But then, we don't have a choice now do we?
Back to growing up-studying-wretched-world then.
I will try to come online less often now.

2008-08-29T23:18:00.002+08:00

Teachers' Day.

As usual, not all of the S33 people turned up for celebrations. Honestly, I swear the senior class sapped all of the energy and vitality of the 08 batch. They are like freaking enthusiastic about everything. Oh well. Not that it bothers me. Ha.
Anyway, celebrations at VJ was okay. It's not better than that the ones back at Maris Stella, but neither is it worse off. They are equal I guess. Haha.
I guess the only highlight of the celebrations were when they showed the old pictures of the tutors and TYH singing? Other than that, there was essentially nothing else to rave about. I left the school early cause the rest of the Marist gang wanted to get the fuck out of school. So ya, I don't wanna be the loner ya know.

We talked cock on the bus. And then plugged into the music, leaving De wei with pretty much nothing to do but to read an out-dated issue of TIME.
Oddly enough, going back, it felt good.
I repeat.
It
Felt
Good.
On a superficial level, they actually refurbished the toilets and there is toilet paper! Haha. Pictures of Marilyn Monroe were drawn on the tiles and boy were they good. Why wasn't I born 1 year later. Then, I get to appreciate all this and get my ass saved from PW. Sigh.
Oh well, if I were to born 1 year later, I would be missing out on quite a number of things now wouldn't I?

There was a old-4A meet new 4A gathering kinda thing at the classroom. The juniors were rather interested in how we managed to get like 7 points and lower for the Os. Seriously dudes, come 2009, you will realise how EASY the O levels are and begin to preach advice of yours'. We played a few rounds of Bridge in the classroom and left for Suntec.
Had lunch at Subway and talked a bit. Bumped into a few old friends along the way. Haha. Seems like everyone's out these days. Then again, who wouldn't when the Promos are coming and this coming 1 week is for intensive catching up and studying?

Oh ya. To deviate a little, I have worked out my 'working schedule'. Judging by the looks of it, I will be damn damn damn busy. Damn.
Did I say damn?
Study. Memorise. Notes. Essay. Practice Papers.
No time to unwind. Of course I know I will slack here and there..pray it doesn't last too long.
I can't believe the Promos are coming.
Someone hold them back please.
Please......

Went to COMEX to get my Razer while the rest just loitered about. Now? I have to wait for the Promos to end before I can work the Razer's magic. Then again, I wonder what kinda mood I would be after the Promos. Sad? I don't know. Sigh

Back to work.

2008-08-24T14:17:00.002+08:00

Going..going. Not.

Let's take it from this week.
I didn't pass Chemistry.
I didn't pass Biology either.
And guess what? I died at the diagrams for both tests. Either this is a huge sign given by the Almighty for me to study how to draw diagrams, or it's high time I attended art lessons. Whichever the case, it's time to take diagrams seriously.
Economics was fairly all right. I have a feeling I would pass? Then again, with only 3 of us-Kenny, Alvin and I- being honest and insisting on not knowing the questions, it isn't any wonder if there are many high-fliers for this test. Oh come on, we took the test on FRIDAY. That's the freaking last day of school and...ya. Words spread ya know?
I couldn't go with the three PW members to interview Beatrice Chia cause of H3 Biology. Then again, I am gonna drop if officially after Monday. Gonna try for H3 Mathematics instead. Biology just isn't my cup of tea.
So, as from Monday, not a soul from S33 will be attending H3 cause it seems as though everyone's gonna drop it. Ha.

Saturday was a flop.
I think I am incurring an immense sleep debt. Despite me sleeping at an earlier time slot, I still somehow manage to wake up at around 11? Ya. Totally what the fuck. And then, to make things worse, my mind just REFUSED to shift into work mode. In the end, I ended up playing 1 hour of Bioshock, marked my integration 9.5, finished off the assignment and did a little bit of economics.
Ya know. I have a dream.
I intend to make economics as successful as my Social Studies. It sounds crazy..but then again, that's what they said to the guy who wanted to go to space.
I am gonna try to be optimistic for now. See when shit falls on me again.

I intend to make it up for today.
So, here's the menu
Alkenes- study the notes + tutorial
Economics- finish doing my notes + do tutorial.
EOM- fuck it honestly.
Biology- 5 pages. Lol.

I swam in the morning today; so this effectively leaves me with about 4-7 and 8-2 to finish of this mountainous pile of work.
Oh.
I nearly fainted in the changing room today.
I guess it's the lack of glucose.
Apparently, 1 cup of milk and 3 pieces of biscuit-the plain plain kind- is insufficient to hold sustain my body's biological functions for about 25 laps. I don't know what got into me today that I actually listened to that psychotic instructor and swam 10 laps of freestyle and 10 laps of breaststroke. The other 5 was for warm-up which was literally WARM up cause of the freezing water.
To illustrate. Next time, during a thunderstorm, don't turn on the heater when you bath. That's about the temperature. But for full effect, if you have a bath tub, fill it up with cold water and empty all the ice in your fridge before entering. Ya. That should do the trick. I guess that's the real glucose burner.

I nearly collapse it not for my cousin. He thought I was kidding around until I started dancing in the room like those dudes from Panic. He went to tell my Uncle who subsequently got me a Milo. It did the trick. Thank god for instant glucose drinks. Red Bull would had been better but then again, I would be like an Energizer bunny after that.
Work beckons.

Oh. And will people please stop asking for Jason Mraz's I'm Yours on the radio. It;s a great song I know but the constant spamming is really..urgh. And it doesn't help if some lovesick person requests it for his/her lover. Bleah.

2008-08-20T19:20:00.003+08:00

words of..i don't know.

I heard this over the radio.
"No relationship can ever work out if a guy cannot listen to what his girlfriend is NOT saying".
How true.

2008-08-19T01:25:00.002+08:00

War.

I think this is the part where someone screams "Charge" or "Spartans!!!" and we start throwing ourselves into death's buccal cavity.
Chemistry test today.
Urgh.
Thanks for the Memories.
It essentially means 2 things.

2008-08-16T23:16:00.003+08:00

Panic at the Disco.

this is from the previous album.
I am currently hooked to Northern Downpour from Pretty Odd.

Presenting: Lying is the most fun a girl can get without her clothes off.
I mean no offense. really.

pity they censor out the f word.
Oh.

2008-08-15T21:53:00.003+08:00

Scream.

Scream. Because it's Friday.
Scream. Because I forgot to bring my keys.
Scream. Because Singapore got into the Finals of the Double Table-tennis match.
Scream. Because next Tuesday is Chemistry Lecture test and next Wednesday is Economics Class Test; I am not that prepared for both.

I guess constantly sleeping at around 2am in the morning and waking up at around 6.15am has its drawbacks. Wait. Of course it does. An average human is suppose to clock in at least 8 hours of sleep. I guess I am not average then? And since I am not above average...then. Gosh. I didn't know clocking in 4 hours of sleep can make me crap so much.
I am beginning to be able to do stuff that I could not, or rather, need not do in the past. Namely. I never quite perfected the ability of sleeping on bus journeys. The slightest jerk, the softest cough and yeah, even the damn ringing of the bell would wake me up. So, you would expect me to be waking up at every stop; that is why I arm myself with a book or the iPod. Lately however, these do not do the trick.
I have been sleeping pretty soundly for these past few days. On bus rides. And it kinda freaks me out cause firstly, I don't know if Victorians would wake me up and secondly, I might be thrashing about like a wild goose in my sleep cause of so much work that hovers like the haze in my head. Probably fighting off the onslaught of tutorials and hell hounds of Economics with my GC or something.

And guess what? I actually managed to sleep in lectures. =\
To be frank, I never used to sleep during lectures. Why? Let's just say that the chairs and flip-tables weren't exactly King Coil certified. So I was awfully surprised when I really slept during Leslie's biology lecture today. It wasn't that long thankfully; only about 10 minutes I reckon. Apparently, I slept so soundly that I didn't even feel Kenny throwing his eraser at me. 0.0 Wow. This is bad.
No wait.
This is VERY bad.

Today was a rather rotten day. It started off well enough during Chemistry-moi did his Ksp and actually got most of his questions right ^^- and then Math, GP-oh, I slept during GP as well..a little bit- then Math lecture. Michael Phelps won the swim again. Then I decided to skip H3. Why? Cause I realised that I had very little time left to study for the coming tests. In my bid to go home to study, I had apparently forgotten one very important thing.
My keys.
Since Sec 1 till now, this is the very first time I did not bring my keys out. Something must had been distracting me last night that made me forget to chuck it in my bag. So yes, I was naturally rather pissed off when I couldn't find it. So in the end, with no place to go, I went to the library.
Yeah
Like totally. What the fuck.

I initially planned to go the National Library but killed the thought because it was 1) quite far and 2) it was a Friday and there was gonna be a hell lot of people there. So, I settled for the libray at Aljunied. I studied there until around 7.30 where I got a call from Mum and went home. I didn't do much there though. Rather distracted by the sights and scenery; not so much sound unless you consider the incessant sniffing of the asshole who refuses to blow his nose; and that quite angered me.

The day's not over yet.
To make up for lost time I am gonna do Set 1 of Market Structure and Entropy tonight. I have managed to complete alkanes already so yeah.
It's gonna be a long long weekend.

2008-08-13T22:15:00.002+08:00

Tests and the head.

I think diagrams relating to Biology have something against me. It first happened in the test on proteins and now it has happened once again in the test on DNA and Genomics. To be honest, I seriously think I would fail today's test. It is pissing me off not so much so that I did not study for it? But the fact that I actually did and the stuff I studied did not quite come out. Only like 1-2 parts did? Frankly, I doubt that would even bring me to a passing grade.
It is that depressing.
I guess that kinda reasons why I was 'lost' after the test. I mean, fine, I knew I was never good with DNA and Genomics to begin with-although I kind of like the topic itself because it has numbers, however retarded this may sound- but at least it is something that is...I don't know. Well most definitely it beats the crap out of bacteria and viruses which I just finished not too long ago; the stuff's drier than the Sahara.
I am really worried now for my Promos.
As well as for my H3.
Although I am treating it with a sense of indifference now, the H3, I think I would really give it all after the Promos? Of course after the release of the results; I don't want to waste my time chasing a lost cause.
All of a sudden, the B,C,D,D criteria seems such a long way. And come to think I was actually aiming for an A,A,A,C. No prizes for what the C grade is for.
I am beginning to try to like economics now. At least I am understanding Market Structure. By baby steps no matter, a little progress is better than staying stagnant. And this explains why I was not as bored as previous times during Economics, despite it being a 4 period marathon.
I just did Enthalpy just now and it struck me as to how careless I can be. Even at home when I am relaxed I am still careless. Now, what about under exam conditions? It would be a miracle if I don't start howling like a crazy ape and shredding the question papers in a fit of rage and helplessness.
I don't need a break now.
I need a brighter head, sharper eyes and higher intellect.
Urgh.

2008-08-05T01:15:00.000+08:00

1am.

I finally got my hands on Penguin.
It was quite a scare really today.
I got a call from Mum this morning that the laptop might arrive 2 weeks late because of a delay in the shipment process. This not only got me worried but really quite pissed off. Why? First of all, the lady assured that the good would be delivered on Monday. Technically, she would have taken all the risks into consideration when she made that statement now no? Apparently she didn't. And she got one really pissed off customer.
In the end, I had to head down to Harvey Norman with Mum in the evening to buy Penguin. Prior to that, I attended-not for fun okay- Math Remedial with Claire, Hidhir and the rest before sitting out at the Concourse with Claire, waiting for 7 to arrive. Thanks for like waiting with me sia. haha. =D
The laptop is love.
But it came with conditions attached.
First of all, all the songs in my iPod mysteriously disappeared when I synced it with it.
A
Whole
Freaking
2000
plus
Songs
You know how heart-breaking that is?
Damn
So now, I have to be content with a miserable 247.
I can't even find Rihanna. Damn it.

2008-07-25T21:13:00.002+08:00

The Dark Knight.

To be honest, not many movies have that great an impact on me. To use a phrase used by the biology tutor, it just bounces off the wall like a ball. I am referring to good films and not whacky, senseless ones like Scary Movie and company. A thorough waste of money for the really bored.
It was supposed to be a class outing. But then, due to communication errors and lousy relaying of information on the part of Shermaine's, in the end, only 4 people turned up. The 4th was an unexpected steal.
School ended at 11.35am today cause of College Day Rehearsals. It so happened that Shermaine had Chemistry Remedial-I should had crashed- and so I had to wait for her. -.- Oh ya, and there was Victoria-undecided as to whether or not to go. So I went to the Computer Lab with Olivia in a bid to send my Econs essay which was due today. But guess what? The School decided to close the Computer Labs early today. Great. So with nothing left to do, I followed Olivia as she went to pass up the homework. We parted soon after.
I then met Dewei and we played Big 2 at the Treehouse. Nothing much there.
Then I met Kenny and Keith in the canteen. Talked a bit and they had to leave for some stuff. So I started to read today's GP paper. Boring stuff. And I waited and waited until the Chemistry Remedial ended.
Turns out Victoria didn't want to go in the end. -.- So in the end, only Shermaine, Yixiu and I were there at the bus-stop. I managed to drag Sharon along, away from her CT friends. It got Glen really pissed? And Sharon was worried throughout the journey. Sorry.
We watched the Dark Knight at The Cathay. The 4.10pm show. 153 minutes of pure entertainment. =D
With quite a bit of time to kill, we once again loitered about in The Cathay and at PS. Shermaine had her dumplings at snail's pace and we pretty much chatted until it was time. I was refused to mug. Urgh.
We had to rush to reach the theatres because someone ate so...slowly. -.- Haha. Managed to get the seats fast and let the show begin.

I must say I really liked the Dark Knight. Not since Constantine had another film had that great an impact on me. Joker was brilliant. His tactics. His skill. His sense of humour, no doubt dark, but still left me hungry for more. Pity the actor died. Then there was Two-Face. I sincerely felt that he died too soon? There should be more to Two-Face.
Say. I wouldn't mind watching the film again.

2008-07-14T20:48:00.002+08:00

bundles of S.

I guess I should had seen this one coming.
I got back the economics paper today.
Got an S?
Yeah.
It did come as a shock really. I was thinking that the worst case scenario would be an E. But then again, my predictions never really were spot-on. This and amongst other things.
It turns out that there was a sea of S-es in the class. However, there were a few souls here and there who were that close towards that elusive E. I hope they get them. As for me, 13 marks seem an awfully long journey towards that E. Not enough a thousand e-assessments or class assignments would scrape me through the test.
This is actually turning out to be a huge joke really.
Initially, prior to the release of this paper, I was actually contemplating as to whether I should take up H3 Chemistry or H3 Biology. Now? With that sinister S making residence on my report slip, I can officially kiss my H3 good-bye. I have kinda killed that affinity with H3 Mathematics because I am already having difficulty with H2 Math. Of course I am not saying that H2 Biology and H2 Chemistry is easy- if it is I would be acing them- well, just that I did not make it for H3 Mathematics that's all.
The guys, saving the Band people, then headed to the Computer Lab and shot each other silly in CS. It was a relatively effective stress-reliever actually. But then again, after all that laughter and knifing ended, it pretty much dawned on me that I needed to do something pronto about my economics. I might hate it just like I did for Physics; but there is no way in hell that I should leave it dead and dying at my detriment. Like it or not, I need to do something about it. I am toying with the crazy idea of even getting myself a tutor for this subject.
I headed to Parkway with Alvin later to do some stuff. Met Victoria there and then went home.

there is still no reply.
i think i am putting too much of myself into this again. like i did the last time.
gotta start putting a quota or something if i want to stop the bloodletting.
i am kinda hooked to stephanie sun's songs lately.
it speaks millions.

2008-07-12T21:09:00.002+08:00

oh man...

I think I'm gonna fall sick soon. It's pretty much a sooner or later thing. Cause of the late, I have been getting this headaches? It is not the throbbing kind but the 'silent' kind. You know that it's there that's all.
I am trying to get that studying engine to start roaring again. I reckon that it has laid dormant long enough. But it's taking kinda long and difficult. Urgh. For the record, I only managed to complete summations today before that headache set in. I am waiting for it to go away so that I can continue with ionic equilibrium later tonight; only read till the water part and a good 3/4 is already gone.

2008-07-10T22:51:00.000+08:00

where the fuck is the calvary.

Zhiyang has to do something pronto and stop getting raped by Math.
Cause he really wants to take H3?
The irony.

2008-07-08T21:32:00.002+08:00

just like the stairs.

I am not exactly a fan of patterns.
Remember those fucked up number patterns involving all these bad ass squares, triangles and funny symbols in E Math? Ya. It maybe easy work for some. But to me, it was living hell. I think the biggest surprise that I had with such patterns was that back in Sec4, if I was really desperate, I would just randomly throw in a number. And guess what? It worked. Sometimes.
I got back my Biology Paper today.
I got back my Chemistry last week.
I got back my Mathematics last week.
And guess what? It's in a funny, sadistic pattern again.
B.
C.
D
I am not that particularly pissed about Chem and Biology. They weren't really my niche subjects. The grades fluctuate and vary pretty wildly. Honestly, that B for Biology was sweet surprise. I can complain and whine some more about this B grade but it's really gonna piss some people off so I should shut up about it. The C for Chemistry-some sick pun- was disappointing. It was pretty damning on my Chemistry 'pride'. At least, to what's left of it. I was kinda banking on it to get me an A? Wishful thinking. Section C seriously fucked me up. Over and over and over. Section B was okay. Shaky. But subject it to the hell hounds of A levels, it would crumble. Section A was fine; loads of room for improvement.
Now on to the red grade.
Honestly, I was dead disappointed with this rotten D. Disgusted. Disgraced. Devastated. I slogged my ass out for the paper. Come on, if there's such a thing as a lucky angel, at least give me a C. Even Mrs Koh was "You didn't study right?". Honestly, I did. But not as intensively. I didn't re-do the tutorials because I was partly lazy and my answers were chucked here and there so it was a real hassle to find them. So I turned to the 3 miserable practice papers and TYS for practice. They were fine. If the paper was Primary School standard. I freaking got slaughtered by the paper over and over and over and over again. I guess the lucky angel did do its job. Salvaging a D for me. I could tell Mrs Koh was really disappointed. I'm sorry..But then again, I wanted to do H3 math? Ha. A D grade? Fat hope.
If the pattern would to do well, the least I could get is like an A for economics? I must be dreaming out loud. Pardon me. Maybe it would go backwards. Like say, an E for economics. It is plausible. 90% chance. Ha.
Dena's crashing tomorrow.

2008-07-07T21:48:00.002+08:00

paused.

The brain always seems to be on strike at about this hour. It is worrying; I need to solve this problem if I were to inch myself, slowly and painstakingly, closer towards the A grade. Far far away from the rotten pits of D and Cs that I am in now. -.-
Apparently, the class outing was a no-go today? Ha. Not surprisingly so. Everyone's probably busy with their own stuff. I spent the day trying to complete the Tom Clancy game I bought a couple of years back-the 9200 ATi Radeon card was not compatible with it. My 'new' one could but it didn't for Bioshock. :( Oh wells, I am sure that I will get to kill Big Daddies and rescue-maybe harvest- Little Sisters when I get a new computer. When that is is another huge question mark. But one thing's for sure, it's no way soon. Nuts.
There's gonna be E-learning this week. Personally I am not really keen about it. The server is probably gonna be DEAD slow cause everyone's probably gonna max out the bandwidth and haha, the folks are probably gonna spam the whiteboard and doddle it with funny stuff. It would be distracting. I doubt if I would be listening, probably chatting with friends on MSN while seemingly paying rapt attention on Elluminate. Lol.

2008-07-04T23:02:00.002+08:00

overdue.

Qns; The person who tagged you is?
dena

Qns; What is your relationship with him/her?
ex-classmates; good friends.

Qns; Your 5 impression of him/her?
-siao char bo (in a good way :) )
-i swear she loves the colour red; i think
-bubbly
-lively
-good listener

Qns; The most memorable thing he/she has done for you?
haha. hearing me vent my anguish and anger about my mum when she refused to let me upgrade my PC. i really needed to vent it out on something or at someone. thanks girl.

Qns; If he/she becomes your lover, you will ... ?
haha! HMM. I don't know...now I would really have to work my ass off to get that porsche.

Qns; If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improves on?
Helping me get that GT-R

Qns; If he/she becomes your enemy, you will ...?
this would never happen.

Qns; If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be?
i don't know..i never considered this scenario

Qns; The most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is?
try to fashion a full-proof crash vj plan.

Qns; Your overall impression on him/her?
a very nice girl.

Qns; How do you think people around you will feel about you?
i have no idea.

Qns; The character you love of yourself are ...?
being able to detach from reality-in the head- and wander off to somewhere else while seemingly seem to pay attention during economics.

Qns; On the contrary, the character you hate yourself are ...?
fat. lazy?

Qns; The most ideal person you want to be is?
someone better.

Qns; For people who care & like you, say something about them.
i don't wanna go sakae. please...

2008-06-25T22:59:00.003+08:00

so far.

I should be happy that the Mid-Years are drawing to a close. But honestly, I find little joy.
I mean, I kinda feel cheated? A good 70% of the holidays dedicated to doing practices, learning concepts, doing revision didn't pay off. How do I know? Well I just do.

Day 1: The Biology was a disaster. I mean, I don't know what got into me on that day. I made careless errors, really costly ones. And I was crapping my way through the photosynthesis and respiration questions. I think the only comfort I can seek is from the question about the nervous system; but then again, I am not even sure how I would fare for that question. The essay was moderately okay. I think it's probably an act of benevolence on the part of the setter. She or he probably knows that this poor fellow has got so many marks deducted that the essay could do some cheering up.

Day 2: GP was as usual. I have got nothing to say about it. I am just praying-to no one or superior being in particular just an analogy- hard that my summary doesn't receive another 0.5/8 and I can pass my AQ this time. I really put in the effort to do the summary this time. The composition was disappointing. Well, I can't exactly blame my brain. After all, the holidays was catered to the sciences and economics. There was hardly any room left for GP unless you count reading the newspapers which I don't even do diligently these days cause frankly, the articles are so...you know.
Economics was a complete fucked up. My essays are probably gonna be a breeze to mark with all the crosses or otherwise irrelevant points. I think economics is fun; you need an acquired taste that is. I mean, if you can grasp the concepts, you can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel. But the paper? Gosh. Even a thousand lights couldn't save me. I rather a beam just descend from up above and teleport me to somewhere peaceful. Doing the paper was like going to war. The enemies have all the nifty weaponry and all you have is probably a coconut and a few spears.

Day 3: Mathematics was seriously the saddest thing that happened to me so far. It used to be a pet favorite although it could be a dick now and then. But overall, it was really a cool subject. There is no ambiguity. There is no grey zone. You either get it right or wrong; I hate ambiguities for that matter. And so, this brings me to the point about today's paper. It was really a test of your, mine for that matter, grit, patience, luck and concentration. The setter has this sadistic way of placing the questions such that the complicated and fuck up ones are interspersed with those that are relatively 'do-able'. What the fuck was his problem in clumping the tough ones in the centre of the paper and placing the easy ones at the back? And the term easy is an over-statement. It still required plenty of twisting and turning of the brain to get the general idea. Summation was unexpectedly okay. Parametrics was a complete shit hole. How the fuck am I suppose to come up with two parametric equations that allow me to draw a fucking circle? That was seriously the point during the course of the examination when I felt like shouting fuck. It was even harder than the HCI paper for crying out loud.

Day 4: that is tomorrow. Honestly, I am gonna put my entire tokens in this chemistry. Chemistry is...I don't know. I can do well at home but don't seem to be able to perform in school exams. Retarded huh? Fuck.
I told Victoria that I actually wanted to retake the whole mid-years. No matter if they changed the paper. I just wanna retake it. Cause as much as I dislike my parents for their un-understanding attitude towards my studies-they think it's so bloody easy- I still need to devise an explanation towards my horrid performance. I am actually thinking of hiding my result script and forging the signature. Ha.
if midyears were already so bad. What about promos?
Gosh.

2008-06-23T17:32:00.001+08:00

war.

they should have like 100 MCQ questions in Economics instead of testing us essays and structured questions. I am getting my ass kicked in the papers. -.-

this. is just but a game.

2008-06-20T09:19:00.003+08:00

Friday.

This is the last Friday of the holidays. I should be maxing it out totally on partying and such. But instead, I am stuck up home, desperately trying to finish the last few topics that are to be tested in the mid-years.
I am not in a particularly good mood today. It's cause of last night I guess.
Well, I have sworn not to be so easily affected by such events; but saying is a lot easier than doing. Talk is cheap. Ya, it is.
I am inching closer and closer into breaking up the circuit. It's only a matter of time I guess.

there is only so much a heart can take.

2008-06-19T21:59:00.002+08:00

decisions.

I have decided to be more focused.
In studies.
In taekwando.
In revision.
In finding birds.

Okay. Ignore that last sentence.
I was just somewhat inspired and ashamed of the article on Tiger Woods in the today's Review column. I mean, I was able to be as almost as focused as him last time. I could really shut off the external disturbances and be in some parallel dimension, completely shut off from reality when doing work. Especially work. But then, since the start of 2009, I have grown increasingly easily distracted. To complete a simple assignment I can dilly-dally. I can go to the fridge to get a snack, go into a daze and such. In the end, an assignment that should take no more than 30 minutes ended up consuming an hour of my time. Time wasting. So now, I intend to be focused.
It worked so so today. I managed to sit through the biology paper till Section B. I decided to do Section C about 30minutes later cause my concentration span was already dwindling and I don't want to make a mess of things. After that 30minutes break which was spent youtubing on some crap, I went back to work and tadah. I not only managed to sit through Section C but managed to COMPLETE my economics revision.
WHOO!
Focus.
Okay. Maybe not completely complete the economics revision but at least I got the crux. I finally understood the minimum and maximum pricing system- look Ma, no fog- and positive and negative externalities. Come on man, give some credit to the lazy bloke who spent the time in lectures playing pokemon and dreaming.
I think I might start being more focused at Term 3. No more fooling around.
Sigh. What a pity. It was fun, no doubt suicidal.
But then again, I am not sure how long this streak would go. Things just come and go you know.

Back to math- better see the light at the end of the tunnel tonight.

2008-06-18T21:24:00.002+08:00

thanks.

I am be thankful for being born into a family that is socio-economically stable.
I am thankful for having a doting mother who knows when I need some 'alone' time and not coming banging on the door to see if I am doing something inappropriate instead.
I am thankful for having an understanding, albeit quiet, dad who still is lost as to why his son has to turn on the fan when the air-con is on at 21 degrees.
I am thankful that I still have both my grandpa and grandma.

I am thankful for having such great friends along the way.
Who helped me when I needed help.
Who listened to the crap that came out of my mouth.
Who lent me money when I realised that I was 10 bucks short of paying the cashier.
Who gave up their time to help me pick up sand and shells at ECP.
Who gave me the courage to buy that alloy and give it to S1.
Thank You.

No worries. I am not about to leap off the building or anything. It's just that this thought just came to mind.
Ah wells.
Back to economics. ><

rest well okay?

2008-06-16T14:11:00.002+08:00

quizzed.

SEVEN THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
1. failing tests
2. studying for the tests and actually managing to fail.
3. magnified images of spiders; those 8 eyes just make my skin crawl.
4. the mirror.
5. monkeys inhabiting Mac Reservoir; I am still pissed that one actually followed me just for my H20.
6. female ghosts in white with ridiculously long hair and seemingly able to find their way with all that hair covering their faces.
7. nightmares.

SEVEN THINGS YOU LIKE THE MOST
1. a good FPS game.
2. being with her?
3. my friends at vj, mshs, gmps; i never went to nursery school though. or whatever you call it.
4. sleeping
5. not failing.
6. getting As.

SEVEN IMPORTANT THINGS IN YOUR ROOM
1. iPod
2. bolster- i realised that with it, I can sleep almost anywhere.
3. PC despite the fact that it is getting REAL old.
4. AIR CON
5. novels.
6. my crumpler
7. the door.

SEVEN RANDOM FACTS ABOUT YOU
1. the first time I 'rode' a bicycle, my leg got lodged between the wheels. Yes. It hurt a freakish lot.
2. i cannot live without music.
3. i have fainted thrice in my whole life and two out of the three times was because some jackass tripped me.
4. the first time I saw orion's belt, I thought heaven was being nice to me for once.
5. i am still learning how to swim.
6. I am doing this random test.
7. I try not to go out if possible cause I am a really lazy person; the station is like a 10 minute walk from home.

SEVEN THINGS YOU PLAN TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. bungee-jump
2. track down the lineage? Like..find out where my ancestors lived etc.
3. bowl her over.
4. be on tv in a good sorta way. -too ugly to be actor-
5. buy a classic ride.
6. be nicer to my parents.
7. be nicer to my friends.

SEVEN THINGS YOU CAN DO
1. rock-climb; it's no big deal anyways.
3. fiddle with the PC for 4 hours and think it's short and do work for 4 minutes and thinks it's taking forever.
4. play the same game for god knows how long.
5. stay out the whole day and not feel tired; probably will when the purse is empty.
6. live through the LOTR trilogy.
7. go tongue-tied anytime.

SEVEN THINGS YOU CAN’T DO
1. go into a girl's toilet.
2. fly.
3. breathe underwater.
4. live without my beloved iPod.
5. wake up during TKD. Trying to. =D
6. score A for economics.
7. walk on water.

SEVEN THINGS THAT ATTRACT YOU TO THE OPPOSITE SEX
1. laughter
2. ideas.
3. her good and 'bad' side
4. words.
5. personality
6. nature
7. style

SEVEN THINGS YOU SAY THE MOST
1. shit
2. crap
3. oh my god.
4. sia la
5. fuck
6.yo
7. hello

SEVEN CELEBRITY CRUSHES
1. jessica alba
2. -
3. -
4. -
5. -
6. -
7. -

2008-06-15T21:22:00.003+08:00

new..stuff.

Okay. Since this will be the LAST week of the holidays, I am actually gonna start something novel.
The doc I went to yesterday said that I should now sleep early and wake up early so that I will burn the midnight oil less often. But he doesn't know that my brain functions better at night; it probably runs on US time or something. But anyways, that retarded point aside.
As of this week, I am actually gonna sleep early at like 1030pm and wake up superbly, ridiculously early at 5.30am to start off the day. Be it mugging or otherwise. I tried that today and it wasn't that fabulous. I guess it's because I woke up early that's why there's the moral hazard of slacking the day off thinking that the day is still long. But I couldn't actually 'finish this experiment' because at around 2, I had to go to Toa Payoh Sports Hall to do saikang for VJ TKD once more. Haha. The only stuff I managed in the ungodly early hours of Sunday morning were genetics and 5 questions of a midyear math paper. At least I can breath easier now now that I am done with the biology syllabus. But as they say, learning never ceases. Crap.
Nothing much to comment about at Toa Payoh Sports Hall. Except that fact that I actually saw Sir compete for the first time and I was playing Jillian's handphone again. Ha. Ohya, someone was flirting with someone else today. xD
I left early cause I was feeling seriously tired; my body is quite adjusted to this 5.30 wake up regime. Channel 5 was showing Charlie and the Chocolate Factory but I ended up watching Animal Pharm on CNA. It was about genetics. How nice, I was learning about that this morning. But then again, what was being shown on TV and what I learned from the notes this morning were entirely different stuff. But what the heck, I don't mind the extra bit of information. Ha.

the text was an unexpected surprise.
surprise is a good sense of way? unusually chirpy it was.
then.
it died.
that song can't helped be played in my head.

2008-06-14T19:29:00.002+08:00

time till date.

I hadn't been blogging much of the late. And apparently, do a little blog-hopping and you can see that many others aren't faithfully logging in entries as well. It's probably the Mid-Years. It really unhinges you. And I swear no amount of revision and practice can get you ready for the tests; they have this funny way of screwing you back.
Nothing much was accomplished was this week. Something bad happened though; my gramps got a stroke yesterday evening and I was told of that uneventful piece of news last night. The fragility of life huh. I visited him this morning with Mum and thank goodness, he is able to speak and remember stuff surprisingly well enough. He still has his very sharp mind. That's Rafffles material I guess. I didn't talk to gramps though. I just greeted him and nodded before standing by the window and looking down below. You know, after this unfortunate incident, it pretty much dawned upon me how ridiculously juvenile I am at times. Especially in dealing with the most recent incident pertaining to S1. I suppose only Alvin knows what I am talking about but those Marists that hang around with me sufficiently should kinda draw the link between S1 and stuff. The letter S appears for a bloody reason.
You know each time I feel somehow inadequate in such stuff. Incompetence more likely. Pretty pathetic ain't it? That it hit me. If it works out, then good. But if it doesn't, life still goes on and well...good things come to boys who wait no? Ha. What happened to gramps kinda cemented that idea and now, I will just take things as it comes.
After what Mum told me last night, my mood to mug was totally destroyed. It was already whining as the day progressed-I probably burnt a fuse when I tried to, suicidally, complete the nervous system in one day. So by the time I was done with dark reaction of photosynthesis, my mind was about to call quits. The bad piece of news was just the catalyst, accelerating the entire process. I ended my day slightly earlier and went online. I ended up watching a movie. It was initially Constantine but I kinda lost interest in it midway. Then ZH so kindly helped me find Chicago. I searched high and low for the show and he got it in like under 10 minutes? I definitely took more than 10 minutes. The videos, thankfully, worked and I watched it all the way till like 1am. Got ignored by S1 while watching the show but that isn't the crux here.
I really liked the show.
No. I mean it. It was good. Damn good. I think it was originally a Broadway play and I loved it. Guess Aunt's love for such shows rubbed off me. So far, I have only watched 2 plays. Singin' in the Rain and Mama Mia. I had to miss Oliver's Twist because of the SARS scare. But since then, I hadn't been to the Esplanade to watch such plays. The last time I went to the Esplanade was for VJ's Band Majestica. Chicago was swell. It's songs were totally different from that in Sweeney Todd. To be frank, it was better. As much as Johnny Depp can sing, Richard Gere can do it better. Ha. Chicago was kinda like the pre-depression era in the States. Party. Excesses. Booze. Chicks fighting for the limelight so much that they can be real sluts. Really. I don't use that word often but Roxane in the show really got me pissed. But then, it's just a show.
Try this.

I prefer this though.
Shitty thing is that they don't allow me to copy the html for this clip. So, here's the url:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiOZRzfOUl0

2008-06-08T20:06:00.003+08:00

Sundays.

I have this massive throbbing headache now.
Panadol doesn't seem to be working.
Maybe I should just bang my head against the wall or something to counteract it.
Well, at least that's how the headache feels like.
A blunt object constantly hitting my head.

I had my swimming lesson today. The instructor gave me a pep talk cause he felt that I wasn't taking the lesson seriously. At least not seriously enough. Yeah, maybe I guess. But I just hate doing the freestyle cause it's so freaking hard to kick properly and not to mention I can't do that four-strokes then surface to breath pattern. Guess it's just excuses; if others can do it I don't see why I can't.
Men should be born with both lungs and gills; it would make swimming a lot easier. Not to mention less people would drown when the ice caps melt and oceans flood nations. Okay, I am just talking crap now.
Damn the headache.

if there ever will be a next time.
i swear it will be better.
i promise.
i wonder what's the state of the alloy now.

2008-06-07T09:23:00.001+08:00

brown on blue.

i am sorry for being such an asshole yesterday.
urgh.

turn back the pendulum...

2008-06-02T22:32:00.002+08:00

QUIZ.

A)people who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves
B)tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse
these people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. cont this game by sending it to other people

1# If your lover betray you, what will your first reaction be?
love her a little less each day? i don't know. maybe should just pull the plug.

2# if you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
be a superhero.

3# what will your dream wedding be like?
odd question to ask a guy...but I don't know. Any place she likes I guess?

4# are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
it's as foggy as the London night.

5# what's your ideal lover like?
just has to be her.

6# which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
being loved

7# how long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
hmm. it would depend.

8# if the person you secretly like is alr attached, what would you do?
kill the flame.

9# is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
exams. exams. exams.

10# are you in love or being loved now?
being loved by family and friends.

11# how do you see yourself in ten yrs time?
either a doctor or being in the military.

12# who are currently the most impt people to you?
friends and family

13# what do you love about the person who tagged you?
a close friend of mine. bubbly, muddle headed at times, loads of fun

14# would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
married but poor. there are some things money can't buy.

15# what's the first thing you do every morning?
ten more minutes.

16# would you give all in a relationship?
huh?

17# if you fall in love with 2 people simultaneously, who would you pick?
what the hell. I will never do such a thing.

18# what type of friends do you like?
they just have to be them.

19# what type of friends do you dislike?
essentially, hypocrites?

20# what would you name your children in future? (give one boy one girl)
.... okay. Let me think. Boy..and Girl.

gonna tag (MUAHAHAHA):
no one. lol

2008-06-02T18:15:00.002+08:00

lovely weather today.

I kinda like the weather today. It's not too warm and not too cold. Just nice for a nap or rather in my case, another unfortunate day of mugging. Honestly, unless I can freeze time, this holiday is going to be one of the lousiest till date. Ya. Don't give me that bullshit about everyone is given 24 hours. It's equal so if others can do it, I should, technically be able to too. Come see the workload we have to face and think again. Gah. It's at these times when you really wish you had a wand to burn all those exam scripts away.
Maybe a lighter would do. Heh.
I have obtained a few new albums of the late. Like, erm, Timberlake's, Fireflight and strangely enough, Sweeney Todd's. I kinda like the last piece, especially the piece where he had a face off with that quack Italian barber. And I think his elixir is piss too.
It makes you kind of wonder if you made the right decision in coming into a JC. Strangely enough, before O levels, everyone was worried about not being able to get into their desired junior colleges. But after the O levels and three months in JC, everyone seems to be like OMG. Ya. It is a huge leap. And even though we study few subjects nowadays, it feels just so much more.
Economics makes one miss Physics.
Thank god for friends and cca which takes your mind of stuff.

2008-06-01T14:37:00.004+08:00

this is a very long quiz-post-shabo entry.

Rules:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog.

Starting time: 2.38pm
Name: Zhiyang
Sisters:0
Brothers: 0
Shoe size: i reckon about 7-8 US? Why, want to help me buy ah. -.-
Height: classified.

Where do you live: Singapore
Favourite drinks: H20
Favourite breakfast: something light like bread?
Have you ever been on a plane?: ya
Swam in the ocean: not really an ocean but more like the sea. and i didn't exactly swam but just waddled it or something during Sea Regetta
Fallen asleep at school: all the time.

Fell off your chair: nah. I have a good sense of stability.
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: couple months back? for some work related stuff.
Saved e-mails: too cool for emails.
What is your room like: 1 bed. 1 cupboard. 3 shelves. 1 door. All earth colours. And I am not letting you come in.
What’s right beside you: the wall? omg.
What is the last thing you ate: lunch.

Ever had chicken pox: nope; my body is probably wired differently.
Sore throat: what kind of..yes. of course i had a sore throat before.
Stitches: yes....
Broken nose: no. but I am gonna break the fellow's nose who sent it to me. haha. nah, just kidding.
Do you believe in love at first sight: it depends.
Like picnics: i don't mind them; it just depends on the company. and of course, where you sit.
Who was/were the last person/people you danced with: ERM. During O2. Not telling ya who.
Last made you smile: getting A2 for Physics. lol
You last yelled at: at econs notes.
Today did you:

Kissed anyone: nah.
Get sick: stupid question. like no?
Miss someone: i guess so? haha.
Eat: yes...omg, this is going on forever.
Best feeling in the world: it depends.

Do you sleep with stuffed animals: used to have a Mickey Mouse but it kinda disappeared.
What’s under your bed: a lot of wires.
Who do you really hate: hmm. i don't know.
What time is it now?:2.45pm. 10+ minutes of my life wasted.

Random:
Is there a person who is on your mind now: ahaha. always? so many people.
Do you have any siblings: WHAT IS THIS! I THOUGHT THERE WAS A SIMILAR QUESTION ABOVE.
Do you want children: it depends.
Do you smile often: ahaha. it depends.
Do you like your hand-writing: i am cool with it.
Are your toe nails painted: natural human colour.
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: .............
What color shirt are you wearing now: yellow hang ten size M.
What were you doing at 7:00 p.m. yesterday: shooting aliens in Halo.
When did you cry last: a very very long time ago.
Are you a friendly person: i think it's more appropriate to ask others about this. crazy people don't think they are insane you know.
Do you have any pets: used to have a terrapin but it kinda disappeared too.
Where is the person you have feelings for right now?: in my heart? god this is cheesy.
Did the last person you held hands with mean anything to you now?: just a friend..i mean, you got to hold hands during dancing no?
Do you sleep with the TV on?: nope.
What are you doing right now?: sharpening my chopper to slice the person who sent this thing. haha, nah.
Have you ever crawled through a window?: yeah.
Can you handle the truth?: you got to face it sooner or later man.
Are you too forgiving?: again, ask someone about this
Are you closer to your mother or father?: definitely the former.
Who was the last person you cried in front of?: .......
How many people can you say you’ve really loved?: i don't know.
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?: nope.
If you’re having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to?: i don't know. just grumble at home and such. i would be on a warpath though.
Are you loud or quiet most of the time?: again it depends.
5 things I was doing 10 years ago:
1. sleep.
2. mug.
3. think.
4. eat.
5. drink.

5 things on my to-do list today:
1. econs.
2. finish this darn almost like matchmaking session quiz.
3. play more.
4. watch more tv.
5. think less.

5 snacks I enjoy:
this question is irrelevant.

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1. make a suit just like Ironman's just more pro.
2. get the R8.
3. give half to my parents.
4. revamp my home.
5. fire the canteen people in Maris Stella and hire people who sell edible substances.

5 of my bad habits:
1. really lazy.
2. easily distracted.
3. lazy.
4. being repetitive.
5. being repetitive.

5 places I have lived in:
1. singapore.

5 jobs I’ve had:
1. student.
2. son.
3. nephew.
4. grandson.
5. nil

5 people that are gonna be sabotaged.
i don't intend to. haha. see. how nice moi is.

2008-05-31T11:23:00.000+08:00

short post.

stuff that I had been doing for this past 5 days:
1) mid-night movies such as sweeney todd and a beautiful mind; i know i am slow but hey, at least now i can tell others that i have watched these shows.
2) taekwando training for 30 minutes because i was ridiculously late for 1.5 hours. sorry jill.
3) cycling at ECP with Dewei and Zhenghui and actually walk up and down the darn place just to find subway when i found out it was just beside mac. great.
4) typing with caps.

ciao.

2008-05-27T23:41:00.002+08:00

the back and now.

I think it's about time that I started blogging again, albeit not on a regular basis yet. From another point of view, this might be indirectly prove handy in writing essays for GP. Or it might not. Either way, I don't really give a damn.
a list of what happened in the past few weeks:

-VJ lost to MJ in the soccer finals. More importantly, I got to see a few familiar faces on that day like Zheng Hui and Weiting. I couldn't find Wen-Yi though but she said she saw me at the MJ camp so haha.
-Attended the Band concert with Alvin and Shermaine. We bought flowers for the band people and I got the honorable task of carrying it to the performance theatre. That is before it was placed in some huge cupboard for safe keeping by the Esplanade staff. The service is commendable but getting the flowers back from the shelves took eons. Not to mention my queue got cut perpetually by some girl in front of me.
-holidays started.

Don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't want to blog or anything. It's just that, most of the time, I hardly find the appropriate stuff to blog about. And my life ain't that colourful either for that matter. No, I didn't get bitten by some genetically modified spider and become the second Spiderman. It's a cool thought though. No more rushing for the bus and such. In fact, everyone should become a spiderman or spidergirl. In this world, greenhouse emissions would fall and we would have cooler temperatures right now. Okay. I am talking trash.
Of the late, I am listening to a couple of new music artistes. It is refreshing considering the fact that I normally listen to Timberlake and co during school terms. I have Duffy, Stars-which so many have been influenced into listening to thanks to moi- and Jem. Ohya, there's Bell X1 too but I haven't touched his album yet cause there are plainly to many songs to listen to. The iPod has reached 2000 plus songs already.
Apparently, there would be taekwando training this coming thursday and there would also be another grading session this coming July. If my math proves me right and grading sessions come this periodically, I should be a green belt by the end of this year. Alright! Frankly, any colour beats white.
Just a random thought: I need a new pair of shoes--> saw that Stan version of Adidas and swore I must get it. Mum also said she might be asking her colleague to get an iPhone. Don't ask me why she suddenly turned so generous but I think it's just bogus news. But then again, my LG is giving me problems and I gladly welcome a new phone. I was hoping for a Sony Ericsson but hey, if it's an Apple..I don't mind!
I intend to take up something during this June holidays. But then. Ha. I have absolutely no idea. Suggestions? Nah. You all probably give me trash ideas like getting a girlfriend or something. Maybe I can consider volunteering at the SPCA or something. It's more than for the birds I swear. =D
Night folks.

2008-05-15T22:44:00.002+08:00

please............

they should come up with a manual on how to survive college life.
i mean, seriously. it's a killer.
at the moment now, I just finished my AQ. I think I kinda made a personal record. For every word I wrote, I cussed like once. So you could imagine how noisy the room was with the music and the cussing. Because, honestly, AQ to me now is like bullshit. I haven't got back the first one that I did so I don't know if I am on the right track or not and ya. Okay. I should stop whining.
I am halfway through economics. Onto question c) now and am totally stumped. I feel like burning the paper.
I still have to finish off my transformation graph sketch crap thing which I left undone because I still don't quite comprehend the chapter. I think I will try to do so later; I could always copy the darn answer but it's sorta against my conscience cause MrsKoh is seriously one of the few teachers that I think is really good in VJ so far.

technically there is tkd saikang this saturday. But offhand, I haven't received any word from anyone yet except Jillian who gave me sketchy details. -.- I am kinda shocked, if not taken aback, by the fact that I have to stay until like 9 for saikang. It pretty much fried my Saturday. And since the Sunday is comps, this means that it is gone too. There goes my lovely weekend.

i need a twin or something to help me do my stuff.

2008-05-13T17:33:00.002+08:00

when she's...

I am not exactly a big fan of dogs...of course I do love those golden retrievers and Siberian huskeys but the love pretty much dies there. The other species are okay but ya, they don't quite reach the status as the above mentioned have.
I am more of the cats person. Well, call me lazy but they are really low-maintenance. They sleep most of the time and when they need you, they know where to look. They ain't as demanding as dogs which want you to throw that damn ball or that stick. Of course it's fun to have a dog run alongside you as you jog...but then again, I would prefer human companions when I go jogging or exercising. Dogs can't exactly play floorball or soccer or something.

There is a stray cat that calls the lift lobby in my block home. But then again, because it's a stray, it's home is practically everywhere. But nonetheless, everytime when I see it, I would give it a scratch behind the ears or pat. I don't know about it, but getting in touch with animals keeps me sane from all that wrap biology and chemistry and economics that is going on. Life is that mad.

Today was a relatively short day. Half the class had their chemistry SPA. I had mine last week. SPA this week is on biology. Damn. So, not wanting me to end early, Alvin and Chongwai asked me to go play pool with them at the igloo. It was a short game anyway. I managed to win Chongwai but sadly lost to Alvin. Heh. Saw the others shooting themselves dead in Halo 2..damn how I miss those games.
Well, back to work then.

2008-05-11T00:13:00.001+08:00

i hate Saturday nights.

2008-05-06T21:57:00.002+08:00

it gets pretty stupid eventually; me that is.

I guess I am gonna be back in the blogosphere a lot more often judging by the looks of things. I am considering whether or not should I quite Photog cause honestly, I am hardly coping with the current workload. Not to mention when it comes to Term 3, the floodgates will open and all hell breaks loose. Pretty much means do or die. Well, that's frustration for another day.
CT Investiture today. Nothing much to say about that cause I was listening to Panic while the important people made their important their important speeches and important stuff was handed out. There was the usual passing of the baton and such. Kinda, no offense, boring really. We missed biology because of the Investiture. Heh.
Economics was okay. Except that the market LRAC and co seem to be haunting me; I wasn't listening to the previous lecture due to pokemon. Heh. So, ya, I tried my very best to grasp what she was saying. I think I can survive. Judging by the looks of things, the outcome would be at least 100% better than market failure which was to say, an utter failure. I register zilch still.
Chemistry was later. I commented on how I preferred the structure of the benzene ring than the ethane and other nonsensical substances. I got a stare from Sonya. Not surprisingly cause my taste differs from the common greatly. This probably answers plenty of shit that happened to me. Chemistry tutorial was later on; I did the entropy and so far, it looks pretty decent. Got to do more revision.

Chemistry SPA.
I think I was marked down a couple of times. The reason being? I don't know. But what the heck, I did it as I did the last time and if she wants to mark me down, there is really nothing I can do now really? Zinc got onto my shirt and pants halfway through the experiment and it really annoyed the crap out of me. Not to mention that everyone seemed to have problem lighting up the damn bunsen burner. I had to pretty unscrew and screw it back before it could give me a flame. And I was thinking that it might explode halfway. Haha. I completed the experiment with 15minutes to spare. Did the normal washing up before I checked the work. That took 10 minutes. Then I spent the last 5 minutes or so dousing myself with dilute hydrochloric acid and dilute suphuric acid in a bid to dissolve the damn zinc. Turns out that the latter acid was weaker despite it being a dibasic. Lol. Anyway, the zinc eventually dissolved but my skin itched a HELL lot after that. Well, that's the price you got to pay to get back a clean attire.
Taekwando after that.

Went to Bugis and got my haircut. Had dinner there and just got home. Tired. Gonna do some work later. CSI first.

don't ask how.
don't ask why.
this is just the way it is.
i will try to do this a little less each day.
---
You left, I died,
I went and you cried
You came, I think
But I never really know
I've served my time
I've watched you climb
The wrong incline
But what do I know
---

2008-05-05T17:41:00.002+08:00

of sorts.

It's just Monday and I am yearning for the weekend to come for more reasons than one. This week is SPA week. Chemistry SPA. I reckon we would be doing the ionic precipitation tests again. What with all the zinc and sodium hydroxide and ammonia. Bleah. Especially ammonia. Hate it.
School was norm today. I got glued to Victoria's phone again during the early parts of Biology. Apparently, I missed out something important..something about the potassium ion gate or something. Ha. I will try to unravel that bullshit later.
Economics this morning was moderately entertaining. I like the lecturer. I still hate the subject though. It is second position to subjects that I hate most in my 17 years of life. Physics still take top spot even though I miraculously scored an A2. Ha.
PE was fun. We were smacking shuttlecocks here and there and making Moses run after them like the coyote in the Roadrunner show. Alvin and I teamed up against Claire, Binghao and Moses. I would rather we have a real match..but then..we all need to unwind. It was great fun. Turns out the Dunks made rather good badminton shoes; but I will need to get a new pair of shoes soon..my three pairs are wearing out and thin after a good three years. Especially my beloved Puma.
Math lecture was next. Functions still registered zilch in my head cause I wasn't paying attention for the past week or so. And so, during today's Summation, I gave it my all. I tried my best really. But despite my best efforts, as always, my eyes will shut themselves and i find myself dozing off now and then. If not for Alvin's incessant shaking of the table, I wouldn't had woken up. Shermaine was complaining of that too.
Economics was up next. We were late cause we were rushing to complete the essay that was supposed to be handed up today. I gave up on my essay midway and scribbled gibberish. And if I felt artistic, I would drop a graph here and there. At least it made the essay looked "economicsy". Not to mention how much space those graphs took up. Heh. I am so dead for economics.
We got ticked off for being late. I came up with a lame excuse that I was busy with my GPP; lousy lie cause two of my members were at the class already. Oops. Who cares.

The day's long. So long.
Folks have been asking me if I am alright. Here's my answer:

It's nothing but time and a face that you lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't chose
I'll write you a postcard
I'll send you the news
From a house down the road from real love...

Live through this, and you won't look back...

There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to say

2008-05-02T21:34:00.001+08:00

how true can this actually be.

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion:

You have medium extroversion.

You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party.

Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences.

But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time."

Conscientiousness:

You have high conscientiousness.

Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.

Most things in your life are organized and planned well.

But you borderline on being a total perfectionist.

Agreeableness:

You have high agreeableness.

You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly.

Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone.

You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance.

Neuroticism:

You have high neuroticism.

It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed.

You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully.

You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is high.

In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.

You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.

A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

2008-04-30T21:14:00.002+08:00

balls.

Well, for once in a rather long while, I am gonna do a proper post. But then again, if the entry seems jumpy-sentence structure doesn't flow and such-I am getting rusty.
Today is Zhiyang's first time going for the VJC Sport's Day. It was a first of many.
During the break prior to Sport's Day, I decided to go play basketball with Joanne, Joel and Nicholas. We played with quite a variety of folks. Ranging from the Chemistry Tutor, to VJC basketballers and such. Obviously I was stoning there half the time cause I was an absolute noob though. Heh. Dang.
And so, apparently, it turned out that we were so utterly engrossed with the game that we forgot about the time. That is, until this fellow PE teacher stormed towards us and shouted at us and such. We motioned towards him and quite naturally, got an earful. It turned out that because it was Sport's Day, we were gonna be punished nonetheless but we were under CWO-Corrective Work Order. We were ordered to move to the pitch where a match was ongoing between two houses and, well, we just had to stone there until further instructions were given. That we did.
Eventually, Mr Yong saw us and told that because it's Sport's Day, we just had to go to the PE Dept and pump the big big polystyrene ball they were playing with. We then walked tiredly there and to our utter surprise, the ball was already pumped. So much for CWO. But then again, bless Mr Yong's soul. Our fate could had been much harsher. Phew.

So I then dragged myself back to the Grand Stand and back to where Aquila is. Oh ya, I saw Alvin running during my punishment. Gee, I wonder if it was like a blessing in disguise cause those punished all equally said that they got the best seats to Sport's Day. Like we could see EVERYTHING. Anyway, yeah, Alvin, I would have to keep my end of the bargain. Thanks a million.

Sport's Day was okay. Aquila had a sad finish; we will rise again next year. Oh ya, there was mass dance session after that. I didn't do the couple dance-was told later by Shermaine that guys had to be more initiative and DARE to ask. Haha. Point taken.
Night

2008-04-29T23:38:00.001+08:00

life.

life before PW:
i was already mulling over enough failed tests and you already.

life after PW:
RIP.

2008-04-25T23:47:00.003+08:00

don't highlight
i am in an utter mess inside.
the outside. it's just a facade.
they are saying stuff to me.
half of myself is believing.
the other is in..i don't know.

2008-04-22T22:12:00.002+08:00

rewind.

You know how the old folk laments that things aren't what they used to be? Like they don't make classics as they used to and such? I think I am going through that now. But then, hey, life goes on. For the better or worse.
Shit.

Stuff that happened today:
1) died during the chemistry lecture test cause I had no blooming idea what the hell the questions were trying to say. i hope the facts and explanation parts can pull me up. I am gunning for at least a moderate pass. Like 20 upon 35 or something. I might be facing with something less though.
2) played pokemone on Victoria's phone again. I managed to defeat the rival with miserable level 40s though. Ahaha. My training style isn't that outdated-in your face alvin; good luck in your race tomorrow anyways. Lucky fella he..in more ways than one.
3) didn't eat so much today. strangely. must be the depressing mood.
4) actually didn't freak out that much during chemistry mock spa today. guess all that grueling training by KYE does make you numb to teachers. it's okay to carry a devil may care attitude while doing the experiments..just make sure the teacher isn't around and you don't heat the wrong substance. haha.
5) actually managed to grasp the styles of yellow tip and yellow belt patterns. need to co-ordinate movements of the hands and feet though. i can't dance straight let alone master these perplexing moves. honestly, even i were to encounter a fight, i would either look for a long pole- crowbar?- and whack the shit out the person. if i fail to find a weapon, i will just kick wildly. i doubt if i would even apply tkd..well,maybe the break the jaw, hit the nose and punch the chest move. and the kicks of course.

tired like hell.
don't highlight.

i need you now, like i needed you then.
i won't let you go for any price.
heaven knows what will happen now.
hey. i..

2008-04-19T22:31:00.001+08:00

don't highlight.

i am gonna smile like all's okay.
i am gonna talk like everything's fine.
but deep down.
i am hurting inside.

2008-04-15T18:43:00.002+08:00

chemistry.

inhale.
exhale.
got to remember to do that more often.
gonna chiong econs later.
but that's for later.
for now.
gonna sleep.
lagging behind in topics again.
-.-
jc system is truly murderous.

2008-04-08T22:02:00.002+08:00

back. and gone again.

Got this weird tagged by zhenghui. So, here goes.

1] At what age do you wish to marry?

Hm. Well surely this would come after University right? I mean, not like it's gonna be some freak shotgun or something. No no, I am real decent. Haha. No la, must find a girl who's understanding enough of me first and of course I to her.

2] What i want the most now?

A lighter to burn the biology notes.

3] Who is the person you trust the most?

Pretty much the usual folks from 4A 2007 and also some chaps from 08S33 I guess.

4] Do you think you have enough confidence?

what the hell is this?

5] If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?

to be accepted. (longshot)

6] Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?

More or less I guess. But the last time I saw one was two years ago. Unless you are talking poetic then definitely yeah? Okay, this is getting lame.

7] What are you afraid to lose the most now?

is there anything to keep?

8] Do you believe in eternal love?

yeah. but prior to that comes eternal pain and waiting and this we all know. so there should be eternal love. after all, there should be the rainbow after a rain right?

9] If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?

not too soon but eventually I guess. unless it's after gentle probing by her which doesn't necessarily end up with happily ever after.

10] List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.

gentleman. scholar. sportsman. lol

11] What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?

none really. she just needs to be comfortable in her own skin; you don't change a 180 degrees for the person you love. unless of course the traits you alter are bad ones then by all means.

12] What feeling do you hate the most?

rejection? be it in love or other stuff. the feeling pretty much sucks really. but like they say, what can't kill you makes you stronger. but what's the point of being so strong when you don't get love? ha.

13] Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?

obviously. (now to ask some bloke to help me finish the tutorial)

14] Are you always ready to crack a joke?

It depends on the company really? but i am not really doing so of the late due to reasons more than one.

15] What do you think is the most important thing in your life?

oxygen.

16] Do you find it a need for you to have a boyfriend/girlfriend?

it depends. but hey, if i can somehow miraculously have one, I ain't complaining.

17] At this point of time, would you rather stay in your comfort zone or try something new?

bring it on.

18] What kind of friend you hope to be in your friend's eyes?

someone they can turn to when they are in trouble and someone they would bring along to pubs and partying.

19] What age do you wanna die at?

preferably before 83. by that time, there wouldn't be any more polar bears and ice caps in the poles and air-conditioners would probably be futile in the disastrous weather conditions. so yeah, by that time, there ain't really much left for me to hold onto. unless of course i get married and such but that;s a long way to go.

20] What is your current favourite song(s) playing in your playlist now?

Until the end of time by JT and beyonce.
Jian Dan de ge by Wang Lee Hom.
Killer by JJ.
What goes around comes around -with interlude- by JT.
No love by Simple Plan.
Make this go on forever by Snow Patrol.
Blood by MCR.
I am not Okay by MCR
.
.
.
seriously, you want me to list everything?

INSTRUCTIONS: remove 1 question from above and type in your own question. tag 8 people to do this quiz!
PS; the blogger didn't do this question cause his brain was fried by glycolysis and gang.

i WOULD Tag.. Dewei,Chrystal-if you are reading-, Dena, Kenny-if you are reading-. Quite sadly, these are the only few active bloggers in my circle.

2008-04-01T23:11:00.002+08:00

GI.

Am rather lazy to punch the few extra keys so am gonna write in bullets. bang.

-handed up PI today.
-didn't sleep during economics lecture today cause we were required to copy like shit about some dumb stuff we learned back at secondary school during SS.
-wasn't called up to do math during tutorial today. surprisingly.
-still trying to survive through biology; the cell membrane notes are still haunting me. now, respiration has joined the gang.
-attended taekwando where the coach obviously got frustrated with us guys for not shouting enough; i was just laughing my ass off when I got called. Don't ask me why.
-still got chemistry tutorial left undone.
-chionging economics tutorial now.
-surfaced on the internet for a break.
-tired like hell.

enough.

2008-03-31T19:43:00.004+08:00

BOOM.

the logic fuse in my tiny head just blew.
i have decided to join photog as my second cca. PAWS is kinda out cause I would probably be accused of joining the CCA to gawk at the girls than to pat and feed the little felines and dogs. Not that I really like the latter species anyway..annoying little buggers.
and with this second cca, this effectively leaves Monday as my only free day.
Monday: ends school at 4.
Tuesday: ends school at 7 thanks to TKD.
Wednesday: probably ending school at around 5 due to photog.
Thursday: ends school at 7 thanks to TKD. Ohya, I would be running after that as well so......
Friday: ends school at 5 due to bloody third period PE. But then again, after April, my Fridays would be free so ^-^. Haha. Well, not that I have anything on or anything..boo.
sigh.
off to economics. plenty of ground to cover.

(psychoing myself to love econs)