YIPPEE!

Let me take a couple of seconds to calm myself. 1...2...3...4...Ah..What the hell.
I just got a call from Singnet couple of hours ago and they requested that I turn on the computer. I did. I followed their instructions like a little chimp and presto! I got my network up and running, albeit it is still sort of slow. I wonder why. Damn.
But it was euphoric. How to describe it? Erm. You could say that this is how Glen feels when he gets his O level slip...Or, when he sees a lady twenty years his senior walking down the street in a spaghetti. Or maybe it's how he feels every time we learn something about plants.
Anyway, him aside, I totally love this feeling. This feeling of esctacy is getting irritating though.

For the past couple of week when I was disconnected-literally so-, many many many things happened. In chronological order:
1)I had learned about differentiation..blah blah blah.
2)I just realized that I had to memorize 3+ books of biology if I want to even pass the bloody prelim.
3)I woke up 5 souls in 2 weeks on the bus to school; not being thanked for even once.
4)I actually understood physics for the first time!
5)I got weird stares from that Zhong Hwa girl on the bus every time she boards it- maybe it's just the lack of sleep that's making me hallucinating.
6)I didn't get spooked when I watched a Chinese Ghost Show. Instead, I was laughing all the while as to how that female ghost managed to see with all that hair cloaking her face.
7)I was banned from buying another pair of shoes this year.
8)I lost to Jonathan in pool. No, it was more like a complete thrash.

Offhand, I cannot remember anything else. Other than the time when... Ah. Forget it. Although I am still heartened by the fact that some loitering souls still come to my cbox to tag. Like Dena..De wei....Jose..So on and so forth.

Between the past 2-3 weeks, I had been shuttling between 3 places. My ah ma's house, my ah ma's house and my house.

Paternal Ah Ma: I could say that I was pampered and all by her. Each time I pay her a visit, I will get nice snacks, money stuffed into my pockets for no reason and the silly maid staring at me as though I am a machine just rolled out of the production line. My ah gong is one heck of an active man for his age. He can walk faster than I! Must be those snacks that bog me down.

Maternal Ah Ma: She too smothers me with affection and care and food. I often got chided for not finishing my "fair" share of the food. But it does taste good of course. Ha! My aunt, her daughter, works as a teacher and hence shoulders the occasional duty of tutoring me in my horrendous English. It is indeed revolting to read the sort of essays that I churn out and the type of comprehension answers that I pen. My Ah Ma has 7 children- Scream for all you care, I am jolly happy during the New Year. I shan't be divulging much information about them. Not that I don't want to just that I don't give a damn. They aren't that close to me.

My house: I live in a humble HDB flat off Kallang. Ask Glen and he should be able to give you my co-ordinates. Did he trail me home? I know a couple of my neighbours by their faces. There is the little devil girl who skips like an elephant upstairs. There's that Jerry lookalike who lives downstairs whom kicked the lift door when I was in it. Then there is that pompous old dick who drives that Grandis and makes a big deal out of it. Oh ya, there's that angry, fussy and did I mention rich? Man who lives next door.

So, stop scratching your head. I know you are wondering why on Earth I am suddenly mentioning my portfolio out of the blue. No, my brain isn't out of kitler and it is no idiosyncratic nature of mine to babble about my life. I just want to mention this pattern I noticed amongst all 3 homes. This will prove especially handy to the men.
Never, ever, ever, not finish your share of the food when you go to your girlfriend's house. Believe it or not, from all the homes that I had been to, the female house owner will be damn pissed if you don't finish the food that she has prepared. Personally, I can understand how she feels. Picture this:
You wake up early. Head to the market. Wrestle that piece of cod or pomfret from another bitchy aunty then trod drudgery to the vegetable ah pek and purchase the most presentable leaves. Then, you may forgo breakfast due to the insanely long queue and head on home. Sweaty, hot, flustered, sticky and in desperate need of sleep. You kick up a storm and nearly cut your finger. Then you posh up the dinning area and wait.
[Male]: It will be even worse if you were late. You made her mother wait and the food gets cold. The food that even the King will drop by 30 minutes earlier for. So you step into the house. You greet her and smile like a moron. You interact, pulling your girlfriend closer to you like you are some vine clinging vehemently for all's worth. Then, it's lunch! You gawk at the food. You try your best to finish the meal and then, you say, "I can't finish this. I am really full.." You leave your sentence hanging, thinking that it may make you look sympathetic. But it doesn't. The mother stands up, smiles at you with those beady, murderous looking eyes and cleans up the area. Your girlfriend stares at you, awe-struck, before giving that puppy look again. You ponder about the thought momentarily and then...

To cut matters short, just bloody hell finish the meal that a woman gives you. If you are thinking that the above scenario happened on me, well you are right. But no, I wasn't at my "girlfriend's" house. I was at my other aunts'. She looked scary. I swore that if I was close to her, and if there so happened to be a frying pan within her reach, she would have grabbed it and whacked it hard against my cheek. Making damn sure that it left an indelible mark on it. I was scared out of my wits when she gave that murderous look. In the end, I was ticked off by my mother who said that if I wanted to continue my weight loss regime, I will bloody hell do so at home or in school and not at some aunt's place who spent 4 hours cooking a miserable spread from very expensive ingredients. I wonder, is it the hefty price tag or the fact that people just want a simple fare of food and not appreciating the money spent that hurt her?
Hmm. Whatever the case, I am making sure that my plate is clean when I am at my girlfriend's house. I don't want her to tell me to scooter off and get the hell out of her sight permanently after that little trip.
Freaky.