I want a gun. It doesn't have to be big, so as long as I shoot that person's head off.

My class has 11 aliens. I wished that they were from Mars so that I can zap them with my water pistol but unfortunately, they are walking human beings. Since last year, these 11 aliens have reign havoc in my class. They robbed me of my glistening class position. They up the notched of every subject. And they fill the nice smelling class with odour. Much like the one when you open the bottle of ammonia, except it is added with a whiff of dead fish. Not all of these aliens are mean, evil, malevolent walking biological devices. Some of them are real nice. They talk nicely, they speak when spoken too and they are not gay. But since Friday, I only know 3 of such humans amongst the 11 aliens.
In 2007, the aliens were scattered to different parts of 4A. But most still congregated in the middle. Quite synonymous with the name of their motherland. Yes, they are the CC. And although I am also a yellow skin as well, I am a Singaporean Chinese. And no, we Singaporeans aren't that bored enough to build an excruciating long bridge out of bridge. And we don't pollute the air with so much toxic that a bird could drop dead in the midst of a flight. So, as I was saying, the aliens were dispersed. The normal ones made plenty of local friends. And they started to behave like us. They jotted down superfluous stuff on the already mind-boggling enough notes, they swarm around the female teachers like flies to a piece of rotting meat and they begin to add a local flavour to their conversational language. They are now half SC. But the 8 others are still, for the better or not, still aliens.
I have got an alien sitting next to me. And I have got a back-up actor sitting to my other side. So together, they both reigned hell on my everyday life, psychologically and physically. The former is a true-blue gay. The latter is just one less person you want to talk to when you are at the Information's Desk. So to satisfy your urge, let me talk about the alien. (Play Beethoven's 5th)
The alien beside me is gay. He gropes the ass of his compatriots and has the disgusting tendency to lie on them when they are not noticing. Thankfully, he is not that close to me. And if he were to do that, I will wrap his arms and legs around, tie them up and roll him down Mount Vernon. He is. And now, for the past 3 months, he has this eerie habit of looking at me every now and then. Oh gawd. And that is why I stopped asking the puncher from him since 3 months ago. He is weird.
I know the society is modern and open and people are OK to gays and lesbians. I am cool with the notion as well, despite the knowing fact that it is illegal. But, just what if, there was this gay alien staring at you? I don't know about you. If I see a girl I really love I would stare at her too. But no, I am not saying that the gay is erm, warm to me. I will call the police. No, I have got a police sitting behind me. JULIAN! Maybe he should use that baton of his to whack the living daylights out of this alien. Or do I have to wish my desk......

I regret going into a Boys' School. It does exempt you from the notion of having a relationship with that girl you really really really like, but it exposes you to a whole different "relationship". It does foster that brotherhood amongst the guys, but it also gives birth to gangs and yes, gays. Just to straighten matters, I am straight. I have my loves and I still think of her ever so often. So if any kind soul were to reading this and wish to change seat with me and suffer at this muthafucking alien's stare for the rest of the 9 months, TELL ME.

If I had a gun, it doesn't have to be a big one, I will shoot the alien. Yes I will.