accounting for.

Okay. I should be shot. I haven't been blogging for a ridiculously long time because I wanted to try out something harsh on myself. Nope, I am not exactly a masochist or however you spell the bloody word but really I just want to do some self-experimenting.
We all know that the O levels are coming. Yes. Even the blind could see the immense stress and annoyance that is written on our faces. And it's in times like these that people tend to be a little unhinged. A little weird. A little "un-them". The quiet become like howlers, the vain develops a fear of mirrors, so on and so forth. And I guess this syndrome eventually caught on with me. I decided to self-experiment. Before the start of Term 3, the day before to be exact, I went to plot a personal time-table of my own. I used to do this in the past but the time-table invariably got ignored. Or the other reason would be "I would do it tomorrow". The reaction's pretty human. But strangely, this time around, I really adhered to it.
By far, I managed to stick to that schedule for a whole week. And it's in that spirit that I decided to sort of let loose on Friday. Or not, since the tickets were already bought during the holidays and I was kinda excited about the meet. But that aside. I managed to follow the tasks to the T.
Was I pleased? I could say that at least before I go to bed, I can tell myself that I did something today. At least I did something. Time often flies when you need the most of it. I seriously don't want to rush like a mad ass again and end up a walking zombie to take my papers again. Never mind the horrendous social image, my brain was practically crying out when I was shading the OAS Sheet.
But following the time-table came at a price. A price which meant sacrifices. Sure, there are the instances when I had to forgone trips with the usual suspects to Sing-Post, and also coming online less often, and not logging into Friendster-it's dead anyway so this bullet doesn't count- and not watching CSI and Desperate Housewives, am I humanly-normal-teenager okay- to say that this is all worth while? I hope it is. But my body doesn't.
Once I put down my pen to rest, especially on Saturdays and Sundays when my breaks were 3 hours long- I start work at 11 and end at 11- I would have this throbbing headache. And I mean throbbing. It got so bad on Saturday that I ended up sleeping the whole day. So is this a strike that the body is mustering? Am I pushing myself too hard? Is this my limit? I hope not. I'm too young to reach my limit. If this is it, I guess I had better quit school and go sell Mee Pok Noodles. You will know where to find me.
Let's leave matters as such.


I'm beginning to feel that a particular someone has a vendetta against me. I don't know why, somehow, I feel so distant from the rest of the people. Communication wise, it seems as though we are of a different platform. Not seeing eye to eye is one thing, but I can sort of feel that hatred, that detest, that vehemence when I look at you. Was it something I did?