exceptions.

I know I mentioned in the previous post that I would not post on a regular basis anymore. But this is an exception and of course an excuse to escape from the insanity of biology.
I think I'm going mad. Either this or I'm beginning to crack under pressure. Like in Hooke's Law, I think I just might be approaching the limit of proportionality and that my friend is one hell of a bad sign. Fuck.
The pressure perhaps stems from myself or the fact that I have to live up to the expectations of my parents and kin-this one I don't really care. And then there's the contributing factor from the dear school. The multitude of tests coming wave after wave, the incessant barraging of test paper after test paper, the emphasis on the imminent date to the O level, the sickening little voice in my head that says "You should be working".
I know that I am a little bit stressed. Because when I'm stressed, I then to use certain words that I hardly use like "multitude and solace". Like how I sought solace in watching some documentary about some scientists heading to New Zealand to pan for gold when they were rich enough to purchase a couple of bracelets from Tiffany.
I am getting worried and tired.
Very very tired.
I had been sort of considering the path to VJC. At the moment, that notion seems seriously shaky. I've got my reasons. Firstly, the immense pressure at the school. Everyone there are high-fliers. That is why VJC is reasonably a prestigious JC in Singapore. And I am afraid that I cannot keep up with them. The second reason is much more important.
My mum.
I hadn't told anyone this but when my mum saw the Prelim results, I saw that she was really really pleased. Or so I think. Her look was similar to the one when I was discharged from the hospital at Primary 6; those who could still remember... That was when it snapped. I was like. God. I had BETTER score in the O levels to not disappoint her. I'm trying. But it seems like a truly uphill task.
I am facing pressing issues from Physics and Biology and at times, Chemistry. To those who think that Math is my forte you are WRONG. I make careless mistakes too and they are appallingly costly. My humanities are all wobbly and shaky; I fumbled at "reading" the source and sieving out the facts and I absolutely detest memorising facts from the damn Geography textbook. It should be burnt and offered to the fishes. My languages HA! They are a mighty disappointment. I write with a slang. My comprehension is always borderline. My composition, Chinese especially, lack the extra omph and final touch that makes Chefs go Mama mia. And so I face the damning question. Could I meet that 7 points criteria?
Life is daunting.
I must say that I'm really impressed with biology teachers. No..I'm not trying to suck up. But really, biology teachers, next chemistry then physics, are really one of a kind. (Think straight). I am barely surviving the sort of questions found in biology tests nowadays. Yes, many justify that biology is a read and memorise subject; but behind the scenes, there is a hell lot more in depth thinking and linking. It's like walking into the Amazon in your underwear and armed with only a pencil to fend off the jaguars and cannibals. God bless you.
I think I'd better go back to work now. Yeah, perhaps secretly too, I might want to go to VJ or TJ. Let that be my birthday wish..eh no. I had wished it on something else already and I'm pretty sure it won't ever happen. Fuck.
Everyone's against LKY now. I'm over that already. I suppose me telling them here to let go off the matter won't help. He is human after all. Or maybe I'm just being too kind. Or not.
I don't know.
Listen to Boys Like Girls "Holiday". I so wanna go on a holiday now.