the what ifs.

I think I either have too much free time or too many neurones to kill.
Either way, it's O level season now and while the rest are busy killing and suffocating themselves with facts and theories and formulas, I had been spending some of my time doing other things.
By the way, it's not that I don't study at all, it's more like at this 11th hour, I pretty much doubt if any last minute revision may salvage the shit you are in.
I had been pondering..
what if I could turn time back...and be in some where else other than here.
what if we could choose what type of looks we had before we are born- pretty much spell disaster for the cosmetics industries- will we still yearn to be someone else?
what if there wasn't consequence...then everything wouldn't matter huh?
what if we know what our future is...do we struggle to change it or surrender?

Some how or rather, I don't feel good about the O levels. It's not that "Die la die la" that feeling. It's something deeper, murkier. I just cannot comprehend it.
I think I'm beginning to understand why people say "live like there's no tomorrow". But doesn't that suck? You live for just one day. Pathetic.
I should get back to the essays now.